Family. That word has been running through my head the last few days and I have been trying to figure out the real definition of that word.
How many times has someone said "You're like family to me" "You are just like a mom/dad to me" "I think of you like a sister/brother/aunt/uncle/etc". We as a society tend to kind of throw that statement out there when we feel super connected to someone or we have spent years connecting and feel like an "insider".
Christians use that terminology all the time. Brother in Christ, Sister in Christ, Family of God. In the church, we are all adopted sons and daughters of God so the terminology fits. As Christians, we should feel connected by the common feeling of Salvation through Christ our God. God is our Father and the church family are our brothers and sisters.
But.
To me, family means that you would stand up and fight for that person without question. This was solidified to me last night when my sister sent me a text and it autocorrected.
Sister's text: I want to hit Martika
My Brain: Dang. Now I have to drive to Georgia and hit Martika too and I don't even know what she did.
Then my real brain kicked in and I realized her phone had autocorrected and I calmed down. But my first instinct was to go and fight with my sister. I didn't care what Martika had done, I was going to defend my sister no matter what.
One time at church, my friend felt like I had been overlooked for a position and she grabbed my hand, dragged me over to the pastor, and confronted him. She didn't hesitate. I am her family and she defended me even when I hadn't asked her to do that.
When I was a kid, a mean neighbor yelled at me and made me cry. I went down the street and got my sister from a pool party and my sister marched in her bikini to the neighbor lady and screamed at her. She was just 14 at the time.
Family to me means that you would fight for the people who are important to you without questioning the "why". Does it matter? Your family is hurt and you need to step up and stand shoulder to shoulder to defend them.
My family is hurting right now. My kids are scared, hurt, angry, tired, and apprehensive of the future. My husband is pissed. I am at the "cry everyday stage". How many more black people are going to have to do die before policies change? How many more years will I have to live in fear each time one of my family members leaves the house hoping they don't get pulled over? How many more years will I have to sit with my kids when they get off work and listen to the stories of racist remarks told to them throughout the day? How many more times am I going to have to think "What if that was my husband/son/daughter/friend?"
When someone in my "family" demeans my family's feelings or gives a counter argument that is invalid, that cuts deeply. I am weeping, why won't you weep with me? I am not asking you to agree with me, I'm asking you to come alongside me and help me, as family would without question.
What can that look like?
A text saying I love you and I stand with your family.
2 people in our care group dropped off care packages just because.
Going to the protests with us, standing shoulder to shoulder
What does that NOT look like?
Saying George Floyd was a criminal so his death isn't really important
Saying All Lives Matter without really understanding what Black Lives Matter means.
Messaging me saying you love me like family but you can't stand shoulder to shoulder with me.
I have only been fighting this fight for a few years now and I am already tired. I can't imagine my whole life being a fight and having to still fight for something that should be over by now.
I stand with reforming the police departments. Let the community programs get involved so that the police officers can do what they are trained to do. Relieve them of being responsible for everything and train them well to do a few things. Raise up community programs to step in and aid in ways they are trained to do. It is hard to imagine the police department looking differently than it has our whole lives, but just because it's been there the whole time, doesn't mean it needs to stay that way. Societies change and adjust, our policies and departments need to also change and adjust.
I stand with the protestors who are simply asking for reform within the police department and for justice for those who have been unjustly killed like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor.
I will not let this era go by sitting on the sidelines. Will you?
Sunday, June 14, 2020
Friday, May 18, 2018
Have you cried yet?
This is a long post, bear with me.
I had my first 5 kids in 6 years, boom boom boom, one right after the other. Most people thought I was crazy, really I was just tired and not thinking straight. I got asked all the time, "How do you do it?" My answer was always, "One minute, one hour, one day, one week at a time". I would have one kid for a while and then we would add another and I would get used to that one and then we would add another and so on and so forth. 5 small kids was my normal.
(I know I have 6 kids, the last one came later so her story is different)
And life was hard. Diapers, bottles, tons of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Kids falling down at the playground, getting in trouble in Sunday school, getting muddy outside, 5 kids playing in the snow, sippy cups, several cribs, bunk beds, I could go on and on.
I am a forward thinker so I was always looking for the kids to pass the milestones. Woohoo! They are all waking, now all talking, now out of diapers, no more sippy cups, no more diaper bag, no more carseats. Sometimes we did things in clumps, the last 2 were potty trained together, first 2 went to their first youth retreat together, middle 2 did driver's ed together, etc.
While they were young and things were happening so fast, it made me happy. Less work for me, let's move on to older kid stuff like feeding and dressing themselves. Then big stuff started happening and life became a roller coaster. 2013, kid graduated, 2014 another kid graduated and a grandchild was born, 2015 another grandbaby, 2016 kid and I graduated, 2017 another grandbaby, 2018 2 kids will graduate and another grandbaby is on the way. These are just 2 things: graduations and grandkids. What about the hundred other things?
What I didn't realize as a young mom watching her babies grow and develop was that at some point, they would be teenagers and young adults also growing and developing one right after the other. Boom boom boom. And my heart can't keep up. By the time I get over one thing, another kid is doing something and I have to jump right back into the flow, barely wiping away the tears before I am smiling and nodding and videotaping something else, someone else. Parenting toddlers is hard, parenting teenagers and young adults is almost impossible, then multiply that by the amount of kids you have.
Here are some things my spouse and I have gone through over the last 5 years, and I know some of you can relate.
Failing high school classes, meetings with schools, college visits, failing out of college, losing scholarship money, unexpected pregnancies, court, custody, child support, thoughts of suicide, therapy, counseling, medication, alcohol abuse, pregnancy problems, and more.
I could dwell on those things but this is also what we have experienced:
Fabulous graduation parties, our family and our hearts growing by the precious grandbabies, love of friends, getting to hang out with teenagers and hearing their thoughts and ideas, seeing our kids in musical after musical and owning the stage, band concerts, orchestra concerts, choir concerts, watching kids do well in their jobs, glowing reports from teachers and administrators, watching them win awards, volleyball matches, watching the kids become referees, and more.
Although our lives are hectic and crazy and our calendar is filled to the hilt with activities, we are happy. Our kids are awesome and we get to be their parents. Everyday they amaze me with what they say, the decisions they make, the way they think through things, and how they interact with those around them. Life is flying by but I get to fly with these 6 little people and that couldn't make me happier.
This is the last 2 weeks before graduation for my #4 and #5 and I have been asked everyday if I cried. My answer? I will cry on June 3rd, after the graduation and after the party. I don't want to cry yet because then it will be real and I am not ready for it to be real yet. My heart can't take anymore right now, but on June 3rd it will be ready. So, I will put on my smiles, my confidence, my fake reality, and I will video the concerts, the awards, the ceremonies, the party and then I will fall apart.
So, mamas and papas. How are you getting through this season? Are you facing it all right away and crying through everything? Or are you like me, waiting til just the right moment and then falling apart?
I had my first 5 kids in 6 years, boom boom boom, one right after the other. Most people thought I was crazy, really I was just tired and not thinking straight. I got asked all the time, "How do you do it?" My answer was always, "One minute, one hour, one day, one week at a time". I would have one kid for a while and then we would add another and I would get used to that one and then we would add another and so on and so forth. 5 small kids was my normal.
(I know I have 6 kids, the last one came later so her story is different)
And life was hard. Diapers, bottles, tons of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Kids falling down at the playground, getting in trouble in Sunday school, getting muddy outside, 5 kids playing in the snow, sippy cups, several cribs, bunk beds, I could go on and on.
I am a forward thinker so I was always looking for the kids to pass the milestones. Woohoo! They are all waking, now all talking, now out of diapers, no more sippy cups, no more diaper bag, no more carseats. Sometimes we did things in clumps, the last 2 were potty trained together, first 2 went to their first youth retreat together, middle 2 did driver's ed together, etc.
While they were young and things were happening so fast, it made me happy. Less work for me, let's move on to older kid stuff like feeding and dressing themselves. Then big stuff started happening and life became a roller coaster. 2013, kid graduated, 2014 another kid graduated and a grandchild was born, 2015 another grandbaby, 2016 kid and I graduated, 2017 another grandbaby, 2018 2 kids will graduate and another grandbaby is on the way. These are just 2 things: graduations and grandkids. What about the hundred other things?
What I didn't realize as a young mom watching her babies grow and develop was that at some point, they would be teenagers and young adults also growing and developing one right after the other. Boom boom boom. And my heart can't keep up. By the time I get over one thing, another kid is doing something and I have to jump right back into the flow, barely wiping away the tears before I am smiling and nodding and videotaping something else, someone else. Parenting toddlers is hard, parenting teenagers and young adults is almost impossible, then multiply that by the amount of kids you have.
Here are some things my spouse and I have gone through over the last 5 years, and I know some of you can relate.
Failing high school classes, meetings with schools, college visits, failing out of college, losing scholarship money, unexpected pregnancies, court, custody, child support, thoughts of suicide, therapy, counseling, medication, alcohol abuse, pregnancy problems, and more.
I could dwell on those things but this is also what we have experienced:
Fabulous graduation parties, our family and our hearts growing by the precious grandbabies, love of friends, getting to hang out with teenagers and hearing their thoughts and ideas, seeing our kids in musical after musical and owning the stage, band concerts, orchestra concerts, choir concerts, watching kids do well in their jobs, glowing reports from teachers and administrators, watching them win awards, volleyball matches, watching the kids become referees, and more.
Although our lives are hectic and crazy and our calendar is filled to the hilt with activities, we are happy. Our kids are awesome and we get to be their parents. Everyday they amaze me with what they say, the decisions they make, the way they think through things, and how they interact with those around them. Life is flying by but I get to fly with these 6 little people and that couldn't make me happier.
This is the last 2 weeks before graduation for my #4 and #5 and I have been asked everyday if I cried. My answer? I will cry on June 3rd, after the graduation and after the party. I don't want to cry yet because then it will be real and I am not ready for it to be real yet. My heart can't take anymore right now, but on June 3rd it will be ready. So, I will put on my smiles, my confidence, my fake reality, and I will video the concerts, the awards, the ceremonies, the party and then I will fall apart.
So, mamas and papas. How are you getting through this season? Are you facing it all right away and crying through everything? Or are you like me, waiting til just the right moment and then falling apart?
Thursday, September 28, 2017
A Dog Named Kenzie
Today I was taking a walk around my neighborhood and had an experience that was eye opening for me.
I met a little boy dog named Kenzie who really loves people. He wasn't on a leash and came running at me, really just wanting me to love him. The owner caught up with me and said, "I'm so sorry! Kenzie just loves new people and once he gets an idea in his head, there's no changing his mind!"
I laughed and replied, "It's ok. I know a lot of people who are just like Kenzie".
It got me thinking that we are a lot like Kenzie. Once we get an idea in our heads, there is almost no changing it. It doesn't matter if we are confronted with facts, other opinions, or anything else, we just do not like to change our minds.
Changing a mind takes humility and an open mindedness to accept new possibilities. It takes doing some research into unbiased news sources or into sources we don't usually delve into like maybe a Bible or a textbook. We have to look at all the facts and then make a decision that just might be different from our original opinion.
An opinion is not something that just happens, it is formed from experiences, our beliefs, and our minds. But, if you are going to argue an opinion, there should be some factual basis to it. It is silly to argue a point if you just "feel" something, you should also know something. In addition to knowing something about your point, it is super helpful to know as much as you can about the opposite side's points. This is called education.
Sometimes, when we do our research, we discover we are wrong and need to change our minds. Shocker! If this hasn't happened to you yet in your life, you should probably search yourself and start finding better friends who will call out your bull crap. Realizing we are wrong is humbling but it doesn't have to be shaming.
Yesterday, a friend of mine declared an opinion she had in a post on Facebook. I read through the comments and saw that she had actually changed her opinion after doing several hours of research. My friends, this is how it's done. She went back to original interviews, documents, and articles and learned the facts about the situation and then changed her position.
Are we so like a dog that we can't listen? Are we so like a dog that we can't do our own research and come up with an educated opinion instead of just spouting off what we think is in our hearts?? And are we so like Kenzie that we will just run at people and attack them just because we think they want to hear what we have to say?
All of us should be like my friend, not like Kenzie.
I met a little boy dog named Kenzie who really loves people. He wasn't on a leash and came running at me, really just wanting me to love him. The owner caught up with me and said, "I'm so sorry! Kenzie just loves new people and once he gets an idea in his head, there's no changing his mind!"
I laughed and replied, "It's ok. I know a lot of people who are just like Kenzie".
It got me thinking that we are a lot like Kenzie. Once we get an idea in our heads, there is almost no changing it. It doesn't matter if we are confronted with facts, other opinions, or anything else, we just do not like to change our minds.
Changing a mind takes humility and an open mindedness to accept new possibilities. It takes doing some research into unbiased news sources or into sources we don't usually delve into like maybe a Bible or a textbook. We have to look at all the facts and then make a decision that just might be different from our original opinion.
An opinion is not something that just happens, it is formed from experiences, our beliefs, and our minds. But, if you are going to argue an opinion, there should be some factual basis to it. It is silly to argue a point if you just "feel" something, you should also know something. In addition to knowing something about your point, it is super helpful to know as much as you can about the opposite side's points. This is called education.
Sometimes, when we do our research, we discover we are wrong and need to change our minds. Shocker! If this hasn't happened to you yet in your life, you should probably search yourself and start finding better friends who will call out your bull crap. Realizing we are wrong is humbling but it doesn't have to be shaming.
Yesterday, a friend of mine declared an opinion she had in a post on Facebook. I read through the comments and saw that she had actually changed her opinion after doing several hours of research. My friends, this is how it's done. She went back to original interviews, documents, and articles and learned the facts about the situation and then changed her position.
Are we so like a dog that we can't listen? Are we so like a dog that we can't do our own research and come up with an educated opinion instead of just spouting off what we think is in our hearts?? And are we so like Kenzie that we will just run at people and attack them just because we think they want to hear what we have to say?
All of us should be like my friend, not like Kenzie.
Friday, January 2, 2015
New Year's Resolu...How about no?
I don't do New Year's resolutions because I have no resolve. Ok, maybe a little resolve when I feel like it but I never stick to my resolutions so I have stopped making them. I have been doing something else and maybe you can too if you are like me, resolve-less.
Earlier this year it occurred to me that I am not always the most positive of people. I am generally a positive person but I suffer from low self esteem and that clouds my absent conversations with people. What is an absent conversation? It's the one you have in your head when the people aren't around and you are wondering how your relationship with that person is going. Or when you are reading a text that could go a multitude of ways and you are having an absent conversation to see which way it should go. In those cases, I tend to think negatively and get my feelings hurt when there is usually nothing to get hurt about. So I decided to change. I decided that I would think the best of people in those circumstances and take the time to really consider that person and how they are usually and then lean towards the positive. Let me give you a real example of something that happened. A woman at church asked me a question and I had to make a snap decision (I suck at those) so I asked her if I could think about it and get back to her. She said yes. I thought about it and told her my decision on facebook. She waited about 2 days and then responded. I could have taken her response as negative and that maybe now there is some problem between us that needs to be resolved. But then I stopped. I considered the woman and how she generally acts and how she is as a person and I THOUGHT THE BEST OF HER. And I was right. She was being nice and I was being nice and all was nice because both of us decided to think the best of each other.
I recognized a character flaw and decided to change it. I now think the best of people when I am texting, facebooking, emailing, and conversing with in person. It's been great! I am not worried anymore if someone is hurt at me or did I do something to offend someone or anything else. When I do hurt people, they generally come and tell me and I apologize because 99% of the time I did or said something that hurt their feelings. I am the Queen of putting my foot in my mouth.
So instead of making a resolution you won't stick to, maybe you should consider fixing a character flaw in yourself to make you a more positive and happy you. If you don't know how to recognize your own character flaws, I'm sure the people around you would be happy to give you their input. Usually, once something is recognized, it is much easier to fix. It's like finding out you make fists every time you sing and your friends point this out and then never let you forget it until you stop making fists and then they still bring it up and tease you about it and it is no longer a character flaw but a joke and you are the butt of the joke and
So anyway, fix a flaw! Maybe resolutions aren't for you but fixing flaws are. Maybe you could work on yourself in a different way than going to the gym and eating better. Personally, I plan on living to an old age while eating nachos so I would rather be a much more positive thinker and work on that than going to the gym. Not that going to the gym is bad but there are more ways than one to improve yourself.
What's your flaw? I personally have so many I will never have time to work on them all but I am surrounded by so many loving opinionated people who will always be quick to point them out to me!
Earlier this year it occurred to me that I am not always the most positive of people. I am generally a positive person but I suffer from low self esteem and that clouds my absent conversations with people. What is an absent conversation? It's the one you have in your head when the people aren't around and you are wondering how your relationship with that person is going. Or when you are reading a text that could go a multitude of ways and you are having an absent conversation to see which way it should go. In those cases, I tend to think negatively and get my feelings hurt when there is usually nothing to get hurt about. So I decided to change. I decided that I would think the best of people in those circumstances and take the time to really consider that person and how they are usually and then lean towards the positive. Let me give you a real example of something that happened. A woman at church asked me a question and I had to make a snap decision (I suck at those) so I asked her if I could think about it and get back to her. She said yes. I thought about it and told her my decision on facebook. She waited about 2 days and then responded. I could have taken her response as negative and that maybe now there is some problem between us that needs to be resolved. But then I stopped. I considered the woman and how she generally acts and how she is as a person and I THOUGHT THE BEST OF HER. And I was right. She was being nice and I was being nice and all was nice because both of us decided to think the best of each other.
I recognized a character flaw and decided to change it. I now think the best of people when I am texting, facebooking, emailing, and conversing with in person. It's been great! I am not worried anymore if someone is hurt at me or did I do something to offend someone or anything else. When I do hurt people, they generally come and tell me and I apologize because 99% of the time I did or said something that hurt their feelings. I am the Queen of putting my foot in my mouth.
So instead of making a resolution you won't stick to, maybe you should consider fixing a character flaw in yourself to make you a more positive and happy you. If you don't know how to recognize your own character flaws, I'm sure the people around you would be happy to give you their input. Usually, once something is recognized, it is much easier to fix. It's like finding out you make fists every time you sing and your friends point this out and then never let you forget it until you stop making fists and then they still bring it up and tease you about it and it is no longer a character flaw but a joke and you are the butt of the joke and
So anyway, fix a flaw! Maybe resolutions aren't for you but fixing flaws are. Maybe you could work on yourself in a different way than going to the gym and eating better. Personally, I plan on living to an old age while eating nachos so I would rather be a much more positive thinker and work on that than going to the gym. Not that going to the gym is bad but there are more ways than one to improve yourself.
What's your flaw? I personally have so many I will never have time to work on them all but I am surrounded by so many loving opinionated people who will always be quick to point them out to me!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Cast your cares? Really?
1 Peter 5:7 "Cast your cares upon the Lord for He cares for you"
Now, let's not kid ourselves, who really does that? Here God! Have my cares! I am going to check facebook now and be totally worry free! Yippee!
Doesn't happen. I've never heard of someone actually making the perfect cast the first time. What? Did I just make a fishing reference? Yeah I did. The Bible is full of them but in all my years of reciting that verse, it never occured to me that it was about fishing. Maybe it's not. I'm not going to the original language and taking it apart or anything, it just kind of hit me the other day that it could be about fishing.
Let's think about it for a second. If you have ever fished then you know that you have to cast your line out several times before you finally get to that sweet spot. After you cast your line, you slowly reel it back in only to cast it out again. After about 50 million times you either lose your bait or catch a fish. Or give up and go shopping.
Now let's refer back to our verse and our usual reality. We cast our care up to the Lord. Again and again until we lose the care or He takes care of it. I know these aren't perfect analogies so don't pick on me but just think about it. God does eventually do something about our cares. Either it doesn't become a care anymore or He does something with the care. Maybe He fixes our problem and maybe He doesn't but either way, it got cast out and something happened.
I think what this verse is also telling us that God cares for us. Not like those "well-meaners" out there who say they want to help you or just let them know if you need anything but they don't really mean it. Or even if they do mean it, we don't take them up on their offer 9 times out of 9.5. But we do take God up on it. We do pray and ask Him for help. Even if you aren't a Christian, I bet you have still prayed at some deep horrible moment of your life for Him to help you. You casted a care. God cares.
He gives us what He thinks we need, not always what we think we need. He takes the bait and sends us fishes in the forms of answered prayers and blessings. Ok, I might be going a little far with that one but still. Do you have all the same cares you had 10 years ago? Probably not. You have all new ones! Some of us have big time things we have been praying for for years and God is working, we just can't see it sometimes. But He cares. He cares and He wants us to keep casting our cares to Him even if we think he isn't biting. Oh my, I need to go to bed. But you get the drift. (see what I did there?)
Now, let's not kid ourselves, who really does that? Here God! Have my cares! I am going to check facebook now and be totally worry free! Yippee!
Doesn't happen. I've never heard of someone actually making the perfect cast the first time. What? Did I just make a fishing reference? Yeah I did. The Bible is full of them but in all my years of reciting that verse, it never occured to me that it was about fishing. Maybe it's not. I'm not going to the original language and taking it apart or anything, it just kind of hit me the other day that it could be about fishing.
Let's think about it for a second. If you have ever fished then you know that you have to cast your line out several times before you finally get to that sweet spot. After you cast your line, you slowly reel it back in only to cast it out again. After about 50 million times you either lose your bait or catch a fish. Or give up and go shopping.
Now let's refer back to our verse and our usual reality. We cast our care up to the Lord. Again and again until we lose the care or He takes care of it. I know these aren't perfect analogies so don't pick on me but just think about it. God does eventually do something about our cares. Either it doesn't become a care anymore or He does something with the care. Maybe He fixes our problem and maybe He doesn't but either way, it got cast out and something happened.
I think what this verse is also telling us that God cares for us. Not like those "well-meaners" out there who say they want to help you or just let them know if you need anything but they don't really mean it. Or even if they do mean it, we don't take them up on their offer 9 times out of 9.5. But we do take God up on it. We do pray and ask Him for help. Even if you aren't a Christian, I bet you have still prayed at some deep horrible moment of your life for Him to help you. You casted a care. God cares.
He gives us what He thinks we need, not always what we think we need. He takes the bait and sends us fishes in the forms of answered prayers and blessings. Ok, I might be going a little far with that one but still. Do you have all the same cares you had 10 years ago? Probably not. You have all new ones! Some of us have big time things we have been praying for for years and God is working, we just can't see it sometimes. But He cares. He cares and He wants us to keep casting our cares to Him even if we think he isn't biting. Oh my, I need to go to bed. But you get the drift. (see what I did there?)
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Love
Don't let the scripture stop you. If you aren't a Bible reader, please keep reading, give the blog a try!
1 Corinthians 13:4-8New International Version (NIV)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails.
Let me rewrite that in a different form.
Love is Patient.
Love is Kind.
Love does Not envy.
Love does Not boast.
Love is Not proud.
Love does Not dishonor others.
Love is Not self seeking.
Love is Not easily angered.
Love keeps No record of wrongs.
Love does Not delight in evil.
Love Rejoices with the truth.
Love Always protects.
Love Always trusts.
Love Always hopes.
Love Always perseveres.
Love Never Fails.
Love. We use that word all the time. All The Time. I love that movie! I love chocolate mint ice cream! I would love to go with you! Don't you love this picture? I love my husband. I love my children. I just love the ocean. I love amusement parks. I could go on and on. The word love is used a lot in our current time and I think we don't often stop and really think about what love is. So, I went straight to scripture.
Most of us have heard this verse about 10,000 times if you grew up in the church and maybe half that if you didn't. It is used in weddings all the time and in all kinds of songs. But do we really believe it? Do we really think about what each of those lines means? And if you have, do you succeed all the time? I know I don't. I'm not patient and neither is my love. My love doesn't always hope, it angers easily, and sometimes is proud. I have failed in every single one of these. But I try! I try to be kind and patient and nonenvious and I try to persevere and hope. When I realize I am faulting in something, I go to God and ask Him to help me understand what I am doing wrong and fix it. (I have found the first step in fixing something is to realize you are doing it wrong to begin with. If you don't know you are wrong, how can you get right?) Sometimes I realize on my own but usually it is pointed out by my friends and family. That hurts. But they wouldn't correct me if they didn't love me, right? Oh dang, there's that word again.
Here is a challenge for each of you. Meditate on each of those lines up there. Take some time to really think about each of them and how you live them everyday with your friends, spouses, children, parents, co-workers, fellow students, whoever. Are you really patient? Kind? Honoring? Seeking others happiness above your own? Not easily angered? Do you keep a record of wrongs? Do you boast about your good loving deeds? Are you protecting those whom you love the most? Be honest with yourself. If you aren't sure if you are doing ok, ask those who love you the most. Be ready for their answer. They may just be honest and sometimes honesty is painful. Talk to your spouses. Your kids. Your friends. Whether you are a Christian or not, those lines are for you. They are for me. Love is a special gift and we need to treat it carefully.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Racism?
My 15 year old and I were having a discussion about segregation in schools and we realized something. When I was a kid (say that in an old person's voice) schools had only been desegregated for about 20 years. I went to elementary school in South Carolina and I don't remember any of us caring if we were white, black, or purple. It wasn't until middle and high school that the real separations occured. In high school, I moved from SC to MD and we moved to a town that was highly acceptable of anybody, any race, any color. I remember visiting my old school in SC after living in MD for about 8 months and couldn't believe the difference! The difference in myself and in my old hometown. I wasn't used to separation anymore, I wasn't used to having to even think about what color people were.
Back to the conversation between myself and my 15 year old. She said in her high school there really aren't color distinctions. People hang out with people and color doesn't factor in. She is going to school about 40 years after desegregation. She is friends with a white girl, an African boy, a Hispanic girl, and the whitest of white girls. She makes me look real tan. My older daughter has a white friend who is dating a black guy and she is also friends with an Asian girl and a biracial girl. All these beautiful people mixing together, sharing their lives and not worrying about what color they are.
I know there are still pockets of segregation and hate. In our own lovely state of Maryland there is still an active Klan in a town not far from our house. My husband has reffed there before, he was the only black person present. I know there is still work to be done but it is getting better. I hope that when my grandchildren go to school, about 60 years after desegregation, they will be shocked to hear that blacks and whites used to be separated on purpose. I hope they are horrified, just as we were horrified to learn about the Holocaust when we were kids.
I am not asking people to be colorblind, color is beautiful! All my kids are a different color and each one is gorgeous and unique. I am asking people to look at character, look at souls, actions, and color. I can't help being born white and wouldn't ask to be another color. I am guessing that that is true about most people. They can't change their skin color and wouldn't want to. But you can change your attitude. You can stop stereotyping people. You can stop separating yourself from people who don't look like you.
What about you? Did you go to school during segregation times? Do you remember the separation of color when you were a kid? Do you think it's getting better? Do you have a story to share? Tell me about it!
Back to the conversation between myself and my 15 year old. She said in her high school there really aren't color distinctions. People hang out with people and color doesn't factor in. She is going to school about 40 years after desegregation. She is friends with a white girl, an African boy, a Hispanic girl, and the whitest of white girls. She makes me look real tan. My older daughter has a white friend who is dating a black guy and she is also friends with an Asian girl and a biracial girl. All these beautiful people mixing together, sharing their lives and not worrying about what color they are.
I know there are still pockets of segregation and hate. In our own lovely state of Maryland there is still an active Klan in a town not far from our house. My husband has reffed there before, he was the only black person present. I know there is still work to be done but it is getting better. I hope that when my grandchildren go to school, about 60 years after desegregation, they will be shocked to hear that blacks and whites used to be separated on purpose. I hope they are horrified, just as we were horrified to learn about the Holocaust when we were kids.
I am not asking people to be colorblind, color is beautiful! All my kids are a different color and each one is gorgeous and unique. I am asking people to look at character, look at souls, actions, and color. I can't help being born white and wouldn't ask to be another color. I am guessing that that is true about most people. They can't change their skin color and wouldn't want to. But you can change your attitude. You can stop stereotyping people. You can stop separating yourself from people who don't look like you.
What about you? Did you go to school during segregation times? Do you remember the separation of color when you were a kid? Do you think it's getting better? Do you have a story to share? Tell me about it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)