I hope the title made you read this because that was my intent : ) A friend of mine sent me an article (wish I still had the link) a while ago in the hopes I would write a blog about it but my life is kinda crazy and I just don't have the time to blog as much. I am making some time today!
The article he sent was about parents drugging children in certain situations and what was our opinion. For instance, would we give our kids a medicine that made them sleepy so they would be good on a trip. This is one I would think alot of parents might do, especially if they are flying. A pro for inducing sleep would be that the child would sleep most of the trip and the parent would be less stressed. A con is that you are giving a child medicine that is not really doing what it is supposed to just so your life can be easier. There may be a unique situation where this would be the only option, but I don't think this is appropriate for most of the time. I would consider that an act of "lazy parenting". "This makes my life easier so I am going to do it even if it has a negative effect on my child" I personally have never intentionally given my children a medicine so they would sleep when I wanted them to. We travel alot and my kids are used to it so they are pretty good travelers.
I found the article, you can look at it here: http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/10/7321836-medicating-your-kids-for-peace-and-quiet-is-it-ever-ok
Another reason for medicating a child is so they will sleep through the night and the parent can have peace and quiet. When we sign up for parenting, we sign away peace and quiet. If we stick to our guns when they are babies, most of the time, kids learn to sleep through the night anyways. There are always exceptions to this but most healthy babies will sleep through the night by 6 months. So basically, if you are drugging your child at 3, 4, 5, whatever, you are teaching your child they need medication to sleep instead of a good habit you should have trained into them when they were little. If you need peace and quiet, check out one of my previous blog about having some me time. Otherwise, suck it up and teach your child how to sleep through the night the healthy way. I have a friend who recently did this with her 5 year old because she had always just slept in the parent's bed. It only took a few days of training and being strict and disciplined and now she is in her room in her bed. The parents can just be husband and wife now in their marriage bed.
One last reason I will put out there is still controversial and will remain controversial for some time. Yes folks, I'm talking about ADD/ADHD meds. Before I start getting hate mail, let me say that I am not against medicating for ADD/ADHD but BUT I do think kids today are overmedicated and not just for this condition. Ok, I said it now I can continue my post. I am addressing this part to parents that are quick to put their kid on a medicine because they want that child's behavior to improve. They want a diagnosis so that their life and their child's life can be easier. I think that there are alot of kids out there that just were not trained to obey and to be respectful and are put on meds as an easy way out. These medications can have serious side effects and will not help a child unless they have a condition. Putting a little guy on medicine because he is wiggly or a mover is not going to help you in the future. I have a couple kids with attention issues and with wiggly issues but teaching them techniques was way more helpful than medication. One of my kids needed to be holding something when she did school so I let her, as long as it didn't interfere with her work. Another kid needed a focus item, something she could look at it and remember to keep at her work instead of daydream. There are alternatives to medication! To those of you who really have a child with that condition and medication has worked, then good! I know medication can't always be avoided and can sometimes be a necessity.
I will end with a story. When my (wiggly) son was 4 the Sunday school teacher pulled me aside one week. "LaShelle, I need to talk to you about your son." I am expecting the worst, did he hit someone, jump out of his chair, etc. "Yes? What did he do?" teacher: "He wouldn't sit still during story time" me: (after a long silence) "Is that it?" teacher: "Well, yes! He should sit still" me: "I don't expect my 4 year old son to sit still during story time. He's 4 and he is in this room for almost 2 hours"
Maybe our expectations for our children are not accurate. No 4 year old, boy or girl, is going to sit still during story time, especially if it happens to be a boring story. Boys especially have trouble sitting still even into their teen years. Kids are going to have rough nights and rough trips but if we can look at it from the right perspective, then we should all grow from something like that, not resort to medication. Now again, I am addressing healthy parents with healthy children. I know that there are exceptions to this and some kids need sleep meds and some parents are sick or whatever the situation may be.
What do you think? Should kids be drugged for trips? For sleeping through the night? To have them behave a certain way?
I think what you are describing is mostly a phenomenon of middle class and wealthy families. I think there may be a level of over prescribed medication among this population as they are often looking to give their kids an edge and if ADHD meds can do it, well...
ReplyDeleteI think there is often under-diagnosis among poor families and this can lead to children getting into a cycle of misbehavior that is untreated and misunderstood for too long. By then, they may be labelled as a "bad" child at school and/or at home.
As you know, I have children who are currently taking medication for ADHD and they occasionally go without it. It is NEVER a good day and sometimes it ruins their day. They are just too impulsive. However, I totally agree that they also need to develop tools to deal with their issues. Medication can help them slow down and think, but by itself, it will not be effective.
As for children being given medication to sleep, two of my children were given Benadryl nightly to put them to sleep for years and they had a very hard time going to sleep without it. Benadryl is NOT recommended as a medication to help kids sleep. This is misuse of medication. The only time I can imagine that situation (and it would be under a doctor's care, not Benadryl) is if you were flying overseas and you have a severely behaviorally challenged child who may not be able to cope with the flight. I am not in that situation, but I can imagine that scenario.
2 of my guys have such bad eczema that they will be up all night scratching if they don't have benadryl. I hate that they need it , but without it they would be miserable :/
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Marie, that is not something I thought about, thanks for sharing. When we had the foster boys, the dr gave us this great ointment and it worked like a charm. I'm sure you've tried it, but if not, ask your doctor.
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