Sunday, December 4, 2011

Children: Blessing or Hindrance?

Last month on Facebook, I did 30 days of thankfulness.  I loved writing each one and wanted to do something similiar in December.  This month, I am doing 31 days of "Count Your Blessings"  My status today is going to be short but I wanted to expound on something that comes up quite frequently in my life and I'm sure it has come up in yours if you are a parent or a sibling. 

My children are a blessing to me, everyday.  I love seeing their faces, hearing the funny things they say, seeing them grow and change, and watching them succeed. I have 6 kids, 6 very different kids who all make my day brighter in their own unique way.  I did not choose to have 6 kids, God chose for me.  He knew I would need each one of these little Blessings to help me be a better person and to draw me closer to Him.  I am trying to enjoy each stage such as it is and try not to look forward too fast to what is to come.

More often than I want to count, people have made comments that stuck with me in a negative way.  They saw my children as a hindrance, a background noise that needed to go away.  One day we were at a bank and the teller was commenting on the number of children I had.  Here's how it went down. 
lady: "Wow! You have 6 kids!" 
me: "Yes I do". 
lady: "I bet you can't wait til school starts!"
me: "Maam, I didn't have 6 kids to send them to school.  I actually like being with my kids and in fact, I homeschool all of them." 
lady:"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!" 
Sure she did. She saw children as a status symbol and while they are in free babysitting (school) all day I can pursue my own interests. She didn't see them as a blessing, a gift from God to my husband and me.

Another time, we were fostering 3 boys so we had 9 children 11 and under. I took all 9 somewhere and some lady walked up to me and said in a snoddy voice, "Please tell me they are not all yours!"  I retorted : Ok, they're not all mine.  And I walked away.  She did not see children as a blessing.  She saw them as a problem, a horde of bees maybe.  Eww, kids. 

My children are mine and I love them.  Even when they are rotten little brats, I love them.  Even when I resolve to be mad at one (or a few), I can't stay that way.  I love them.  They are a blessing to me in so many ways.  I am willing to put my life on hold, to put my dreams to the side so that they can have as much as me as possible.  I am willing to put my plans to the side if necessary so that they can do their thing. And I love them doing their thing.  I love seeing them play their instruments, draw their pictures, bring home a good test grade, pick out their own funky outfits, try out new hairstyles, sing songs, and decorate their rooms.  It's my job as a parent to make sure my kids feel loved and accepted by me, not as an aggravation or a hindrance to my life.

My favorite place to tell people I was pregnant was at church.  Out in public people would yell out, "You're pregnant again? Don't you know what causes that? How are you going to afford 6 children? What were you thinking?" Etc.  At church: "Congratulations!  It was about that time, you had gone a whole 3 weeks without being pregnant so we knew it was coming.  Oh, your children are so sweet and beautiful, we can't wait til this one is born.  I am so happy for you." My church (and my family) see children as a blessing.  An individual gift to unwrap and enjoy.

How do you view children?  As a Blessing, a joy, an addition to your life?  Or an 18 year blight, a curse upon mankind, a distraction to what is really important?

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