This is a long post, bear with me.
I had my first 5 kids in 6 years, boom boom boom, one right after the other. Most people thought I was crazy, really I was just tired and not thinking straight. I got asked all the time, "How do you do it?" My answer was always, "One minute, one hour, one day, one week at a time". I would have one kid for a while and then we would add another and I would get used to that one and then we would add another and so on and so forth. 5 small kids was my normal.
(I know I have 6 kids, the last one came later so her story is different)
And life was hard. Diapers, bottles, tons of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Kids falling down at the playground, getting in trouble in Sunday school, getting muddy outside, 5 kids playing in the snow, sippy cups, several cribs, bunk beds, I could go on and on.
I am a forward thinker so I was always looking for the kids to pass the milestones. Woohoo! They are all waking, now all talking, now out of diapers, no more sippy cups, no more diaper bag, no more carseats. Sometimes we did things in clumps, the last 2 were potty trained together, first 2 went to their first youth retreat together, middle 2 did driver's ed together, etc.
While they were young and things were happening so fast, it made me happy. Less work for me, let's move on to older kid stuff like feeding and dressing themselves. Then big stuff started happening and life became a roller coaster. 2013, kid graduated, 2014 another kid graduated and a grandchild was born, 2015 another grandbaby, 2016 kid and I graduated, 2017 another grandbaby, 2018 2 kids will graduate and another grandbaby is on the way. These are just 2 things: graduations and grandkids. What about the hundred other things?
What I didn't realize as a young mom watching her babies grow and develop was that at some point, they would be teenagers and young adults also growing and developing one right after the other. Boom boom boom. And my heart can't keep up. By the time I get over one thing, another kid is doing something and I have to jump right back into the flow, barely wiping away the tears before I am smiling and nodding and videotaping something else, someone else. Parenting toddlers is hard, parenting teenagers and young adults is almost impossible, then multiply that by the amount of kids you have.
Here are some things my spouse and I have gone through over the last 5 years, and I know some of you can relate.
Failing high school classes, meetings with schools, college visits, failing out of college, losing scholarship money, unexpected pregnancies, court, custody, child support, thoughts of suicide, therapy, counseling, medication, alcohol abuse, pregnancy problems, and more.
I could dwell on those things but this is also what we have experienced:
Fabulous graduation parties, our family and our hearts growing by the precious grandbabies, love of friends, getting to hang out with teenagers and hearing their thoughts and ideas, seeing our kids in musical after musical and owning the stage, band concerts, orchestra concerts, choir concerts, watching kids do well in their jobs, glowing reports from teachers and administrators, watching them win awards, volleyball matches, watching the kids become referees, and more.
Although our lives are hectic and crazy and our calendar is filled to the hilt with activities, we are happy. Our kids are awesome and we get to be their parents. Everyday they amaze me with what they say, the decisions they make, the way they think through things, and how they interact with those around them. Life is flying by but I get to fly with these 6 little people and that couldn't make me happier.
This is the last 2 weeks before graduation for my #4 and #5 and I have been asked everyday if I cried. My answer? I will cry on June 3rd, after the graduation and after the party. I don't want to cry yet because then it will be real and I am not ready for it to be real yet. My heart can't take anymore right now, but on June 3rd it will be ready. So, I will put on my smiles, my confidence, my fake reality, and I will video the concerts, the awards, the ceremonies, the party and then I will fall apart.
So, mamas and papas. How are you getting through this season? Are you facing it all right away and crying through everything? Or are you like me, waiting til just the right moment and then falling apart?
