Family. That word has been running through my head the last few days and I have been trying to figure out the real definition of that word.
How many times has someone said "You're like family to me" "You are just like a mom/dad to me" "I think of you like a sister/brother/aunt/uncle/etc". We as a society tend to kind of throw that statement out there when we feel super connected to someone or we have spent years connecting and feel like an "insider".
Christians use that terminology all the time. Brother in Christ, Sister in Christ, Family of God. In the church, we are all adopted sons and daughters of God so the terminology fits. As Christians, we should feel connected by the common feeling of Salvation through Christ our God. God is our Father and the church family are our brothers and sisters.
But.
To me, family means that you would stand up and fight for that person without question. This was solidified to me last night when my sister sent me a text and it autocorrected.
Sister's text: I want to hit Martika
My Brain: Dang. Now I have to drive to Georgia and hit Martika too and I don't even know what she did.
Then my real brain kicked in and I realized her phone had autocorrected and I calmed down. But my first instinct was to go and fight with my sister. I didn't care what Martika had done, I was going to defend my sister no matter what.
One time at church, my friend felt like I had been overlooked for a position and she grabbed my hand, dragged me over to the pastor, and confronted him. She didn't hesitate. I am her family and she defended me even when I hadn't asked her to do that.
When I was a kid, a mean neighbor yelled at me and made me cry. I went down the street and got my sister from a pool party and my sister marched in her bikini to the neighbor lady and screamed at her. She was just 14 at the time.
Family to me means that you would fight for the people who are important to you without questioning the "why". Does it matter? Your family is hurt and you need to step up and stand shoulder to shoulder to defend them.
My family is hurting right now. My kids are scared, hurt, angry, tired, and apprehensive of the future. My husband is pissed. I am at the "cry everyday stage". How many more black people are going to have to do die before policies change? How many more years will I have to live in fear each time one of my family members leaves the house hoping they don't get pulled over? How many more years will I have to sit with my kids when they get off work and listen to the stories of racist remarks told to them throughout the day? How many more times am I going to have to think "What if that was my husband/son/daughter/friend?"
When someone in my "family" demeans my family's feelings or gives a counter argument that is invalid, that cuts deeply. I am weeping, why won't you weep with me? I am not asking you to agree with me, I'm asking you to come alongside me and help me, as family would without question.
What can that look like?
A text saying I love you and I stand with your family.
2 people in our care group dropped off care packages just because.
Going to the protests with us, standing shoulder to shoulder
What does that NOT look like?
Saying George Floyd was a criminal so his death isn't really important
Saying All Lives Matter without really understanding what Black Lives Matter means.
Messaging me saying you love me like family but you can't stand shoulder to shoulder with me.
I have only been fighting this fight for a few years now and I am already tired. I can't imagine my whole life being a fight and having to still fight for something that should be over by now.
I stand with reforming the police departments. Let the community programs get involved so that the police officers can do what they are trained to do. Relieve them of being responsible for everything and train them well to do a few things. Raise up community programs to step in and aid in ways they are trained to do. It is hard to imagine the police department looking differently than it has our whole lives, but just because it's been there the whole time, doesn't mean it needs to stay that way. Societies change and adjust, our policies and departments need to also change and adjust.
I stand with the protestors who are simply asking for reform within the police department and for justice for those who have been unjustly killed like George Floyd and Breonna Taylor.
I will not let this era go by sitting on the sidelines. Will you?
