Arguments run abound in my house of teenagers and tweenagers and little guys. I have recently witnessed with my own eyes a fight over a seat on the couch, a fight for a seat at the table (they are assigned by the way) a fight over a seat in the van (also assigned), who will get to pick the tv show, and who will get to use the pair of headphones we use for the computers. I'm not talking about petty arguments, these things escalate into yelling, tears, they generally end up involving another sibling who tries to mediate, and then a punishment. Today, our Christmas break, oh I'm sorry, our Holiday Break started at 3:12 when my kids got off the bus from school. I opened the floodgates of media that have been off limits all week and the arguments started. It ended up with my 12 year old and my 11 year old fighting and my 14 year old jumped in to try and mediate and only made it worse. I called my 2 younger ones in to my room and we had a little discussion. What my children seem to lack is LOVE. I mean love the verb, not the fuzzy feeling. They do not seem to love their siblings enough to give up something they want for the happiness of their sibling. Kids are born as little selfish beings so it is natural to them to get what they want, even if it means hurting someone else. Loving someone unselfishly is something that is taught and learned, not a natural thing. The argument I gave them was this, "If God was willing to give us His son and Jesus was willing to give His life, what are you willing to give?" As we discussed this in real life examples, I saw an understanding come over them. I know they don't truly get it and I know we will have to have this same discussion again, but today, they got it.
I spent some time in the car rethinking this train of thought and I came to realize that most adults don't get this concept either. Are we Christians really able to give? Give up? Give up all? How many of you have heard this in church or a prayer group, "Lord! I'm an empty vessel, fill me up!!" Really? Totally empty? Bone dry? Or are you half filled with your natural desires and you want God to top you up? Should we be saying, "Lord, I am pretty happy but I want you in there too, there's some room on the side, just squeeze in next to my favorite hobby and my best friend." How many of us are really willing to give up ALL to allow God to truly fill us? Would you be willing to sell your possessions? Move to China? Quit your job? (this is for the people who love their job) Take in an ailing parent? Downsize? Take on a ministry at your church? We pray for God to use us, to fill us, but it's usually on our terms, not His. "Lord, use me but make sure it's something I feel like doing".
I know this is something I struggle with everyday. I am willing to give up my seat on a bus for a stranger but I won't give up the remote to my husband. I am willing to give money to my friend but don't want to give my kid money to go to the movies. I am selfish but I want God to use me. I know lots of people like this. They love Jesus, they want to be used, and they don't want to be selfish. They want to be Lovers (the verb) but life gets in the way sometimes.
Do you struggle with this? What will you give, knowing that the God we serve gave so much? Will you be a Lover (you know the verb)?
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Children: Blessing or Hindrance?
Last month on Facebook, I did 30 days of thankfulness. I loved writing each one and wanted to do something similiar in December. This month, I am doing 31 days of "Count Your Blessings" My status today is going to be short but I wanted to expound on something that comes up quite frequently in my life and I'm sure it has come up in yours if you are a parent or a sibling.
My children are a blessing to me, everyday. I love seeing their faces, hearing the funny things they say, seeing them grow and change, and watching them succeed. I have 6 kids, 6 very different kids who all make my day brighter in their own unique way. I did not choose to have 6 kids, God chose for me. He knew I would need each one of these little Blessings to help me be a better person and to draw me closer to Him. I am trying to enjoy each stage such as it is and try not to look forward too fast to what is to come.
More often than I want to count, people have made comments that stuck with me in a negative way. They saw my children as a hindrance, a background noise that needed to go away. One day we were at a bank and the teller was commenting on the number of children I had. Here's how it went down.
lady: "Wow! You have 6 kids!"
me: "Yes I do".
lady: "I bet you can't wait til school starts!"
me: "Maam, I didn't have 6 kids to send them to school. I actually like being with my kids and in fact, I homeschool all of them."
lady:"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!"
Sure she did. She saw children as a status symbol and while they are in free babysitting (school) all day I can pursue my own interests. She didn't see them as a blessing, a gift from God to my husband and me.
Another time, we were fostering 3 boys so we had 9 children 11 and under. I took all 9 somewhere and some lady walked up to me and said in a snoddy voice, "Please tell me they are not all yours!" I retorted : Ok, they're not all mine. And I walked away. She did not see children as a blessing. She saw them as a problem, a horde of bees maybe. Eww, kids.
My children are mine and I love them. Even when they are rotten little brats, I love them. Even when I resolve to be mad at one (or a few), I can't stay that way. I love them. They are a blessing to me in so many ways. I am willing to put my life on hold, to put my dreams to the side so that they can have as much as me as possible. I am willing to put my plans to the side if necessary so that they can do their thing. And I love them doing their thing. I love seeing them play their instruments, draw their pictures, bring home a good test grade, pick out their own funky outfits, try out new hairstyles, sing songs, and decorate their rooms. It's my job as a parent to make sure my kids feel loved and accepted by me, not as an aggravation or a hindrance to my life.
My favorite place to tell people I was pregnant was at church. Out in public people would yell out, "You're pregnant again? Don't you know what causes that? How are you going to afford 6 children? What were you thinking?" Etc. At church: "Congratulations! It was about that time, you had gone a whole 3 weeks without being pregnant so we knew it was coming. Oh, your children are so sweet and beautiful, we can't wait til this one is born. I am so happy for you." My church (and my family) see children as a blessing. An individual gift to unwrap and enjoy.
How do you view children? As a Blessing, a joy, an addition to your life? Or an 18 year blight, a curse upon mankind, a distraction to what is really important?
My children are a blessing to me, everyday. I love seeing their faces, hearing the funny things they say, seeing them grow and change, and watching them succeed. I have 6 kids, 6 very different kids who all make my day brighter in their own unique way. I did not choose to have 6 kids, God chose for me. He knew I would need each one of these little Blessings to help me be a better person and to draw me closer to Him. I am trying to enjoy each stage such as it is and try not to look forward too fast to what is to come.
More often than I want to count, people have made comments that stuck with me in a negative way. They saw my children as a hindrance, a background noise that needed to go away. One day we were at a bank and the teller was commenting on the number of children I had. Here's how it went down.
lady: "Wow! You have 6 kids!"
me: "Yes I do".
lady: "I bet you can't wait til school starts!"
me: "Maam, I didn't have 6 kids to send them to school. I actually like being with my kids and in fact, I homeschool all of them."
lady:"Oh, I didn't mean it like that!"
Sure she did. She saw children as a status symbol and while they are in free babysitting (school) all day I can pursue my own interests. She didn't see them as a blessing, a gift from God to my husband and me.
Another time, we were fostering 3 boys so we had 9 children 11 and under. I took all 9 somewhere and some lady walked up to me and said in a snoddy voice, "Please tell me they are not all yours!" I retorted : Ok, they're not all mine. And I walked away. She did not see children as a blessing. She saw them as a problem, a horde of bees maybe. Eww, kids.
My children are mine and I love them. Even when they are rotten little brats, I love them. Even when I resolve to be mad at one (or a few), I can't stay that way. I love them. They are a blessing to me in so many ways. I am willing to put my life on hold, to put my dreams to the side so that they can have as much as me as possible. I am willing to put my plans to the side if necessary so that they can do their thing. And I love them doing their thing. I love seeing them play their instruments, draw their pictures, bring home a good test grade, pick out their own funky outfits, try out new hairstyles, sing songs, and decorate their rooms. It's my job as a parent to make sure my kids feel loved and accepted by me, not as an aggravation or a hindrance to my life.
My favorite place to tell people I was pregnant was at church. Out in public people would yell out, "You're pregnant again? Don't you know what causes that? How are you going to afford 6 children? What were you thinking?" Etc. At church: "Congratulations! It was about that time, you had gone a whole 3 weeks without being pregnant so we knew it was coming. Oh, your children are so sweet and beautiful, we can't wait til this one is born. I am so happy for you." My church (and my family) see children as a blessing. An individual gift to unwrap and enjoy.
How do you view children? As a Blessing, a joy, an addition to your life? Or an 18 year blight, a curse upon mankind, a distraction to what is really important?
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
I am slightly offended
For those who know me, I do not get offended easily. I get angry easily and defensive, but not usually offended. I saw something today that got me thinking so I facebooked it and it evoked some comments and I figured I'd blog about it.
I went to a Wells Fargo bank this morning and there was this sign in the parking lot:
LOW EMISSIONS VEHICLE PARKING ONLY
I am slightly offended. I realize low emission vehicles are a great thing and I am all for them but I simply cannot afford one and they do not make one in a "family size". Or at least, my family size. I have owned my van (see previous blogs for details) for over 6 years and God and my wonderful mechanic have kept it running and on the road. I simply cannot afford a new car right now. Even if I did get a new one, it wouldn't be one of the new low emissions vehicles because, again, they don't come in 8 passenger. And if, by my lack of education in the matter, they do come in 8 passenger models, I can't afford them. So now what? That means at the bank I have to walk 10-15 extra steps to the front door because the spots that border the building are reserved for low emissions vehicles. That is just dumb. I'm sorry but it is. Is that supposed to be incentive for me to get a loan from said bank to buy a vehicle so I can park 10 feet closer to your building? Um, no. I am not going into more debt so I can park closer to your building. A friend of mine says they have those parking spots reserved at her local library. Really? Shouldn't those spots be saved for people with children so the kids don't have to run across the road in the rain? Or for older patrons so they don't have to walk as far? No, they are for the young wealthy people who can afford a nicer car. I am not against young and wealthy and I am not against those of you who are better with your money than I am, I just don't think you deserve or should get a better parking spot because of it.
Another friend of mine said those signs aren't law so she doesn't have to honor them. I did honor it but only because I knew if I backed into the spot (which I have to do since I can't really back out of parking spots well in the 15 passenger) and I hit the sign with my less than low emissions vehicle, they would probably make me buy another one. And since gas costs a fortune these days, I really can't afford to replace the sign.
So what do you think? Do you think businesses can really put up a sign that reserves spots for certain kinds of cars? What would be next? Should we all stand outside the Wells Fargo and protest? I am all for it if it's not raining. If it is, we can just sit in my running van and wave our signs out the windows.
I went to a Wells Fargo bank this morning and there was this sign in the parking lot:
LOW EMISSIONS VEHICLE PARKING ONLY
I am slightly offended. I realize low emission vehicles are a great thing and I am all for them but I simply cannot afford one and they do not make one in a "family size". Or at least, my family size. I have owned my van (see previous blogs for details) for over 6 years and God and my wonderful mechanic have kept it running and on the road. I simply cannot afford a new car right now. Even if I did get a new one, it wouldn't be one of the new low emissions vehicles because, again, they don't come in 8 passenger. And if, by my lack of education in the matter, they do come in 8 passenger models, I can't afford them. So now what? That means at the bank I have to walk 10-15 extra steps to the front door because the spots that border the building are reserved for low emissions vehicles. That is just dumb. I'm sorry but it is. Is that supposed to be incentive for me to get a loan from said bank to buy a vehicle so I can park 10 feet closer to your building? Um, no. I am not going into more debt so I can park closer to your building. A friend of mine says they have those parking spots reserved at her local library. Really? Shouldn't those spots be saved for people with children so the kids don't have to run across the road in the rain? Or for older patrons so they don't have to walk as far? No, they are for the young wealthy people who can afford a nicer car. I am not against young and wealthy and I am not against those of you who are better with your money than I am, I just don't think you deserve or should get a better parking spot because of it.
Another friend of mine said those signs aren't law so she doesn't have to honor them. I did honor it but only because I knew if I backed into the spot (which I have to do since I can't really back out of parking spots well in the 15 passenger) and I hit the sign with my less than low emissions vehicle, they would probably make me buy another one. And since gas costs a fortune these days, I really can't afford to replace the sign.
So what do you think? Do you think businesses can really put up a sign that reserves spots for certain kinds of cars? What would be next? Should we all stand outside the Wells Fargo and protest? I am all for it if it's not raining. If it is, we can just sit in my running van and wave our signs out the windows.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Time. Defined.
I use my children as points of reference to define the time things happened in my life. I'm sure ya'll do too but I will give an example just in case you have no idea what I am talking about. Our church is having a 10 year anniversary celebration! I was pregnant with my 5th child when we moved into that building. Wow, no wonder I don't remember a single event, including the Christmas play I was in. Or: I remember when we went to Cancun, we only had 3 kids then and I was pregnant! My life, at least in the last 17 years, has been defined by which kid I was pregnant with or nursing at the time. Since the majority of the people I hang with are in a similiar stage of life, I hadn't realized I was doing this until I started college. This year, one of my 18 year old classmates asked me, "Why do you define time by which kid you were pregnant with?" Her question stumped me (but only for a second). I asked her what defining times did she have in her life. Going from middle school to high school maybe or before or after she went to some great camp that changed her life. Life is doled out moment to moment but we don't remember it that way. We remember it in chunks and by the people that were important in that chunk. So, I remember Cancun and I remember I was pregnant because I couldn't imbibe in the all you can drink option that came with our plan. I remember going to MI with my friend and our combined 12 children, including my 3 month old and her 3 week old. We will forever define that trip with those 2 babies ages. I remember when our church opened it's doors to our brand new building 10 years ago because I was holding my only son in my arms.
How do you define time? Before or after your marriage? Maybe it's a significant death that is your marking. Maybe it's when you became an empty nester or a first time parent. Or maybe it's when you got devastating news like, "Before the cancer". All of us define time in some way. What's your way?
How do you define time? Before or after your marriage? Maybe it's a significant death that is your marking. Maybe it's when you became an empty nester or a first time parent. Or maybe it's when you got devastating news like, "Before the cancer". All of us define time in some way. What's your way?
Thursday, November 10, 2011
A Random Stranger
This is a long Isabelism, figured I'd blog it.
5 of my kids and I went to Home Depot to make fancy keys for those children responsible enough to keep track of their key. We are all surrounding the key machine and picking out fancy keys and playing with the doorknobs in the aisle, clogging up the whole area. This young man, probably around 25 years old or so, walks by with a fabulous walking stick/cane with a snake engraved on it. The snake is wrapped around the stick and it is all beautifully painted. He limps slowly through my mass of younguns and Isabel yells out, "Hey! I know that story!" The guy stops and looks at her, quizzically. Then he stops, stoops down a little and says, "Tell me the story". Wow. Hold on, gotta get a tissue, I'm tearing up. So, Isabel proceeds to tell him about the story in the Bible where the Israelites have to look upon the bronze snake on a stick or they will die. The man knows the story and they have a small conversation about it and then he walks away. What a moment. My daughter, totally ignoring the fact that the guy was lame, sees a snake on a stick and thinks of the Bible. This man, who probably has more on his mind than a kid asking him questions, stops to have a quiet conversation with my 5 year old about God. I mean, how many young people would do that? Would you stop and take the time to talk to a small kid in a Home Depot because they yell out a comment? I was so impressed by that young man's character. He certainly taught me a lesson today.
5 of my kids and I went to Home Depot to make fancy keys for those children responsible enough to keep track of their key. We are all surrounding the key machine and picking out fancy keys and playing with the doorknobs in the aisle, clogging up the whole area. This young man, probably around 25 years old or so, walks by with a fabulous walking stick/cane with a snake engraved on it. The snake is wrapped around the stick and it is all beautifully painted. He limps slowly through my mass of younguns and Isabel yells out, "Hey! I know that story!" The guy stops and looks at her, quizzically. Then he stops, stoops down a little and says, "Tell me the story". Wow. Hold on, gotta get a tissue, I'm tearing up. So, Isabel proceeds to tell him about the story in the Bible where the Israelites have to look upon the bronze snake on a stick or they will die. The man knows the story and they have a small conversation about it and then he walks away. What a moment. My daughter, totally ignoring the fact that the guy was lame, sees a snake on a stick and thinks of the Bible. This man, who probably has more on his mind than a kid asking him questions, stops to have a quiet conversation with my 5 year old about God. I mean, how many young people would do that? Would you stop and take the time to talk to a small kid in a Home Depot because they yell out a comment? I was so impressed by that young man's character. He certainly taught me a lesson today.
Sunday, October 30, 2011
Drugs: good for kids? Maybe...
I hope the title made you read this because that was my intent : ) A friend of mine sent me an article (wish I still had the link) a while ago in the hopes I would write a blog about it but my life is kinda crazy and I just don't have the time to blog as much. I am making some time today!
The article he sent was about parents drugging children in certain situations and what was our opinion. For instance, would we give our kids a medicine that made them sleepy so they would be good on a trip. This is one I would think alot of parents might do, especially if they are flying. A pro for inducing sleep would be that the child would sleep most of the trip and the parent would be less stressed. A con is that you are giving a child medicine that is not really doing what it is supposed to just so your life can be easier. There may be a unique situation where this would be the only option, but I don't think this is appropriate for most of the time. I would consider that an act of "lazy parenting". "This makes my life easier so I am going to do it even if it has a negative effect on my child" I personally have never intentionally given my children a medicine so they would sleep when I wanted them to. We travel alot and my kids are used to it so they are pretty good travelers.
I found the article, you can look at it here: http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/10/7321836-medicating-your-kids-for-peace-and-quiet-is-it-ever-ok
Another reason for medicating a child is so they will sleep through the night and the parent can have peace and quiet. When we sign up for parenting, we sign away peace and quiet. If we stick to our guns when they are babies, most of the time, kids learn to sleep through the night anyways. There are always exceptions to this but most healthy babies will sleep through the night by 6 months. So basically, if you are drugging your child at 3, 4, 5, whatever, you are teaching your child they need medication to sleep instead of a good habit you should have trained into them when they were little. If you need peace and quiet, check out one of my previous blog about having some me time. Otherwise, suck it up and teach your child how to sleep through the night the healthy way. I have a friend who recently did this with her 5 year old because she had always just slept in the parent's bed. It only took a few days of training and being strict and disciplined and now she is in her room in her bed. The parents can just be husband and wife now in their marriage bed.
One last reason I will put out there is still controversial and will remain controversial for some time. Yes folks, I'm talking about ADD/ADHD meds. Before I start getting hate mail, let me say that I am not against medicating for ADD/ADHD but BUT I do think kids today are overmedicated and not just for this condition. Ok, I said it now I can continue my post. I am addressing this part to parents that are quick to put their kid on a medicine because they want that child's behavior to improve. They want a diagnosis so that their life and their child's life can be easier. I think that there are alot of kids out there that just were not trained to obey and to be respectful and are put on meds as an easy way out. These medications can have serious side effects and will not help a child unless they have a condition. Putting a little guy on medicine because he is wiggly or a mover is not going to help you in the future. I have a couple kids with attention issues and with wiggly issues but teaching them techniques was way more helpful than medication. One of my kids needed to be holding something when she did school so I let her, as long as it didn't interfere with her work. Another kid needed a focus item, something she could look at it and remember to keep at her work instead of daydream. There are alternatives to medication! To those of you who really have a child with that condition and medication has worked, then good! I know medication can't always be avoided and can sometimes be a necessity.
I will end with a story. When my (wiggly) son was 4 the Sunday school teacher pulled me aside one week. "LaShelle, I need to talk to you about your son." I am expecting the worst, did he hit someone, jump out of his chair, etc. "Yes? What did he do?" teacher: "He wouldn't sit still during story time" me: (after a long silence) "Is that it?" teacher: "Well, yes! He should sit still" me: "I don't expect my 4 year old son to sit still during story time. He's 4 and he is in this room for almost 2 hours"
Maybe our expectations for our children are not accurate. No 4 year old, boy or girl, is going to sit still during story time, especially if it happens to be a boring story. Boys especially have trouble sitting still even into their teen years. Kids are going to have rough nights and rough trips but if we can look at it from the right perspective, then we should all grow from something like that, not resort to medication. Now again, I am addressing healthy parents with healthy children. I know that there are exceptions to this and some kids need sleep meds and some parents are sick or whatever the situation may be.
What do you think? Should kids be drugged for trips? For sleeping through the night? To have them behave a certain way?
The article he sent was about parents drugging children in certain situations and what was our opinion. For instance, would we give our kids a medicine that made them sleepy so they would be good on a trip. This is one I would think alot of parents might do, especially if they are flying. A pro for inducing sleep would be that the child would sleep most of the trip and the parent would be less stressed. A con is that you are giving a child medicine that is not really doing what it is supposed to just so your life can be easier. There may be a unique situation where this would be the only option, but I don't think this is appropriate for most of the time. I would consider that an act of "lazy parenting". "This makes my life easier so I am going to do it even if it has a negative effect on my child" I personally have never intentionally given my children a medicine so they would sleep when I wanted them to. We travel alot and my kids are used to it so they are pretty good travelers.
I found the article, you can look at it here: http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/08/10/7321836-medicating-your-kids-for-peace-and-quiet-is-it-ever-ok
Another reason for medicating a child is so they will sleep through the night and the parent can have peace and quiet. When we sign up for parenting, we sign away peace and quiet. If we stick to our guns when they are babies, most of the time, kids learn to sleep through the night anyways. There are always exceptions to this but most healthy babies will sleep through the night by 6 months. So basically, if you are drugging your child at 3, 4, 5, whatever, you are teaching your child they need medication to sleep instead of a good habit you should have trained into them when they were little. If you need peace and quiet, check out one of my previous blog about having some me time. Otherwise, suck it up and teach your child how to sleep through the night the healthy way. I have a friend who recently did this with her 5 year old because she had always just slept in the parent's bed. It only took a few days of training and being strict and disciplined and now she is in her room in her bed. The parents can just be husband and wife now in their marriage bed.
One last reason I will put out there is still controversial and will remain controversial for some time. Yes folks, I'm talking about ADD/ADHD meds. Before I start getting hate mail, let me say that I am not against medicating for ADD/ADHD but BUT I do think kids today are overmedicated and not just for this condition. Ok, I said it now I can continue my post. I am addressing this part to parents that are quick to put their kid on a medicine because they want that child's behavior to improve. They want a diagnosis so that their life and their child's life can be easier. I think that there are alot of kids out there that just were not trained to obey and to be respectful and are put on meds as an easy way out. These medications can have serious side effects and will not help a child unless they have a condition. Putting a little guy on medicine because he is wiggly or a mover is not going to help you in the future. I have a couple kids with attention issues and with wiggly issues but teaching them techniques was way more helpful than medication. One of my kids needed to be holding something when she did school so I let her, as long as it didn't interfere with her work. Another kid needed a focus item, something she could look at it and remember to keep at her work instead of daydream. There are alternatives to medication! To those of you who really have a child with that condition and medication has worked, then good! I know medication can't always be avoided and can sometimes be a necessity.
I will end with a story. When my (wiggly) son was 4 the Sunday school teacher pulled me aside one week. "LaShelle, I need to talk to you about your son." I am expecting the worst, did he hit someone, jump out of his chair, etc. "Yes? What did he do?" teacher: "He wouldn't sit still during story time" me: (after a long silence) "Is that it?" teacher: "Well, yes! He should sit still" me: "I don't expect my 4 year old son to sit still during story time. He's 4 and he is in this room for almost 2 hours"
Maybe our expectations for our children are not accurate. No 4 year old, boy or girl, is going to sit still during story time, especially if it happens to be a boring story. Boys especially have trouble sitting still even into their teen years. Kids are going to have rough nights and rough trips but if we can look at it from the right perspective, then we should all grow from something like that, not resort to medication. Now again, I am addressing healthy parents with healthy children. I know that there are exceptions to this and some kids need sleep meds and some parents are sick or whatever the situation may be.
What do you think? Should kids be drugged for trips? For sleeping through the night? To have them behave a certain way?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
A Parent's Responsibility
Long time no see my friends! Whew, what a crazy start to the school year!! I really shouldn't even be writing this, I have a paper due but what the heck! Everyone needs a little release now and then.
A couple things have happened to me or around me recently and it got me thinking, what are our responsibilities as parents? I don't mean the big things like discipline, teaching them about our Savior, or education. I'm talking about the little day to day things or things our society tells us are our or aren't our responsibilities (is that too many letter i(s) in that word? dang). Anyway, I know some of my friends read this and I am going to share your stories without asking. Please don't give yourself away in the comments and we'll be alright. Also, I have no problem with your lives or these situations, I'm just using them as examples.
The first one is about me. My parents never gave me a "real" copy of my birth certificate. I didn't realize this as it was old and folded up and looked authentic. It wasn't until my spouse and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas that I realized it was a copy of my birth ceritficate. The port authority almost didn't let me go but I pulled out the "I'm so innocent and I had no idea look" and they let me get on with a warning to get a passport. In my parent's defense, they also didn't know it was a copy. The real one is floating around somewhere, we just don't know where. Anyway, my parents are visiting my birth state soon and I asked them to drop by vital records and get me a real birth certificate. The response I got was, "That's not my responsibility but I will try" (responsibility has too many i's) Initially, I was offended and shocked at the response. Of course it is their responsibility to give me a copy of my birth certificate! When I told my husband, he strongly disagreed. He said I'm grown and I should go get my own. So I ask you people, is it a parent's responsibility to furnish their child with a copy of their original birth certificate? I say yes! I have one ready for each of my kids and when they move out, they get to take it and all their crap with them.
The next issue I have is with laundry. As soon as my kids are old enough and tall enough to reach the buttons, they are taught to do laundry. By age 11 or so, the kids are responsible for their own dirty stuff and also for folding and putting away their clean stuff. Now, before someone calls CPS, I do help them from time to time. I help switch it and I help fold if I am not too busy. I'm also a great reminder. "Hey! Kid! Go switch your laundry!" But I have a friend who is the laundry goddess of her home. No kid is allowed to touch the machines or even enter her laundry room without permission. (ok, I'm exaggerating but ya'll get my drift) She runs a tight laundry ship but kids aren't really allowed to help. I am concerned about this and have told her so but she likes her system. So, what do ya'll think? Is it a parent's responsibility to do their child's laundry til they move out or should we have them doing their own? Obviously, I am on the "do their own" side. I don't mind sharing the laundry machines.
The third one I have is about alarm clocks. At what age do we parents stop waking our kids up and start letting them be responsible (can we rewrite that word with fewer "i"s?) for getting themselves up? Middle school? High School? College? Mid-30's? At our house, it's middle school. As soon as our kids start 6th grade, they are given an alarm clock and told to get up by themselves. We are on our 4th kid with this system and it works pretty well. But I know parents who are still waking up their college kids and obviously they are ok with that system. What do you think? What is your policy?
What else? We could talk about teaching kids their social security numbers, letting them drink out of glasses instead of cups, doing outside chores like mowing, etc. Let me hear your stories, your opinions. What is a responsibility you don't think we should have or you think we are not being responsible enough with. Oh my gosh, my "i" finger is tired!!
A couple things have happened to me or around me recently and it got me thinking, what are our responsibilities as parents? I don't mean the big things like discipline, teaching them about our Savior, or education. I'm talking about the little day to day things or things our society tells us are our or aren't our responsibilities (is that too many letter i(s) in that word? dang). Anyway, I know some of my friends read this and I am going to share your stories without asking. Please don't give yourself away in the comments and we'll be alright. Also, I have no problem with your lives or these situations, I'm just using them as examples.
The first one is about me. My parents never gave me a "real" copy of my birth certificate. I didn't realize this as it was old and folded up and looked authentic. It wasn't until my spouse and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas that I realized it was a copy of my birth ceritficate. The port authority almost didn't let me go but I pulled out the "I'm so innocent and I had no idea look" and they let me get on with a warning to get a passport. In my parent's defense, they also didn't know it was a copy. The real one is floating around somewhere, we just don't know where. Anyway, my parents are visiting my birth state soon and I asked them to drop by vital records and get me a real birth certificate. The response I got was, "That's not my responsibility but I will try" (responsibility has too many i's) Initially, I was offended and shocked at the response. Of course it is their responsibility to give me a copy of my birth certificate! When I told my husband, he strongly disagreed. He said I'm grown and I should go get my own. So I ask you people, is it a parent's responsibility to furnish their child with a copy of their original birth certificate? I say yes! I have one ready for each of my kids and when they move out, they get to take it and all their crap with them.
The next issue I have is with laundry. As soon as my kids are old enough and tall enough to reach the buttons, they are taught to do laundry. By age 11 or so, the kids are responsible for their own dirty stuff and also for folding and putting away their clean stuff. Now, before someone calls CPS, I do help them from time to time. I help switch it and I help fold if I am not too busy. I'm also a great reminder. "Hey! Kid! Go switch your laundry!" But I have a friend who is the laundry goddess of her home. No kid is allowed to touch the machines or even enter her laundry room without permission. (ok, I'm exaggerating but ya'll get my drift) She runs a tight laundry ship but kids aren't really allowed to help. I am concerned about this and have told her so but she likes her system. So, what do ya'll think? Is it a parent's responsibility to do their child's laundry til they move out or should we have them doing their own? Obviously, I am on the "do their own" side. I don't mind sharing the laundry machines.
The third one I have is about alarm clocks. At what age do we parents stop waking our kids up and start letting them be responsible (can we rewrite that word with fewer "i"s?) for getting themselves up? Middle school? High School? College? Mid-30's? At our house, it's middle school. As soon as our kids start 6th grade, they are given an alarm clock and told to get up by themselves. We are on our 4th kid with this system and it works pretty well. But I know parents who are still waking up their college kids and obviously they are ok with that system. What do you think? What is your policy?
What else? We could talk about teaching kids their social security numbers, letting them drink out of glasses instead of cups, doing outside chores like mowing, etc. Let me hear your stories, your opinions. What is a responsibility you don't think we should have or you think we are not being responsible enough with. Oh my gosh, my "i" finger is tired!!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
I Remember
This morning as I was drinking my coffee and preparing my heart and mind for worship, I was trying to think of some way to honor the victims and families of 9-11 on Facebook. I wrote a small FB status and I wanted to expound on it. Today this blog will be sad, a little unusual for me.
"I remember where I was on 9/11, I remember the horror and devastation, I remember the fear, I remember the heroes, I remember the stories of heroism, I remember the families, I remember the patriotism this act produced, I am witnessing the rebirth, and I hope that our children and our children's children will Remember."
All week I have had the phrase "I Remember" in my head. I think someone should mass produce bumper stickers and pass them out. Everyone should remember 9-11-01. Everyone. I will never say that I am happy that horrible act of violence and terrorism but I think that my generation needed something like this so we can empathize with others when something bad happens. When the tsunami in Thailand happened, the earthquake in Haiti, the hurricane in Louisiana; my mind immediately went to what I was feeling when the planes flew into the towers.
I remember I was hanging out with my kids at home. My oldest was in public school at the time and I was pregnant with my fifth. My mother-in-law called me and told me to turn the tv on, did I even know what was going on. I turned the tv on and my whole body went numb. I hung up with her and she was the last person I talked to all day, the phone lines were jammed the rest of the day and for days afterward. I fell to the floor, sobbing, watching the tower smoke. The reporters didn't know what was going on, everyone was confused. My small children were looking at me like I was nuts, mommy never watches tv during the day, mommy never cries. I just sat there and cried. My neighbor came by and asked me if I wanted her to get my oldest from school, she was going to get her children. I said yes, I wanted all my children close to me. I went back to watching the tv and then another plane flew into another tower. Then there were reports of a plane crashing in PA. Then the Pentagon. I didn't know how much I could take. They showed people on the streets of NYC crying and covered in white dust. Firefighters and Policemen everywhere. Then the tower crashed down. It was unthinkable. Then the other one. How many Lord? How many were still in there? How many were now dead? Then the flags. All the American flags. They lined the streets, hung on every house, on overpasses, businesses, cars. They were everywhere. What terrorists tried to defeat only made us stronger and more ready to fight back.
I Remember. I will always remember what happened that day. I don't think I will be able to think about that day without tearing up. I can't listen to the memory songs, I can't watch the documentaries, it's too hard. And I didn't even lose anyone that day. Imagine those who did. Maybe you did. If I feel that strongly about something that didn't directly affect me, it must be quadruply hard for those who were there. For those who lost a spouse, child, parent, friend.
Don't forget. Take this tragedy and grow from it. Remember so you can empathize with those going through something similiar. Remember so you will know how it feels and you will have more mercy on your enemies. Tell your children so they can Remember and tell their children.
Do you remember where you were?
"I remember where I was on 9/11, I remember the horror and devastation, I remember the fear, I remember the heroes, I remember the stories of heroism, I remember the families, I remember the patriotism this act produced, I am witnessing the rebirth, and I hope that our children and our children's children will Remember."
All week I have had the phrase "I Remember" in my head. I think someone should mass produce bumper stickers and pass them out. Everyone should remember 9-11-01. Everyone. I will never say that I am happy that horrible act of violence and terrorism but I think that my generation needed something like this so we can empathize with others when something bad happens. When the tsunami in Thailand happened, the earthquake in Haiti, the hurricane in Louisiana; my mind immediately went to what I was feeling when the planes flew into the towers.
I remember I was hanging out with my kids at home. My oldest was in public school at the time and I was pregnant with my fifth. My mother-in-law called me and told me to turn the tv on, did I even know what was going on. I turned the tv on and my whole body went numb. I hung up with her and she was the last person I talked to all day, the phone lines were jammed the rest of the day and for days afterward. I fell to the floor, sobbing, watching the tower smoke. The reporters didn't know what was going on, everyone was confused. My small children were looking at me like I was nuts, mommy never watches tv during the day, mommy never cries. I just sat there and cried. My neighbor came by and asked me if I wanted her to get my oldest from school, she was going to get her children. I said yes, I wanted all my children close to me. I went back to watching the tv and then another plane flew into another tower. Then there were reports of a plane crashing in PA. Then the Pentagon. I didn't know how much I could take. They showed people on the streets of NYC crying and covered in white dust. Firefighters and Policemen everywhere. Then the tower crashed down. It was unthinkable. Then the other one. How many Lord? How many were still in there? How many were now dead? Then the flags. All the American flags. They lined the streets, hung on every house, on overpasses, businesses, cars. They were everywhere. What terrorists tried to defeat only made us stronger and more ready to fight back.
I Remember. I will always remember what happened that day. I don't think I will be able to think about that day without tearing up. I can't listen to the memory songs, I can't watch the documentaries, it's too hard. And I didn't even lose anyone that day. Imagine those who did. Maybe you did. If I feel that strongly about something that didn't directly affect me, it must be quadruply hard for those who were there. For those who lost a spouse, child, parent, friend.
Don't forget. Take this tragedy and grow from it. Remember so you can empathize with those going through something similiar. Remember so you will know how it feels and you will have more mercy on your enemies. Tell your children so they can Remember and tell their children.
Do you remember where you were?
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Family of Flavors
Family of Flavors
by LaShelle
Chocolate cake, warm, delicious, makes you feel good and cozy.
Vanilla Wafers, firm yet sweet, goes well with about anything.
Cinnamon, making the house smell good, adding spice and flavor to everything it touches.
Peanut Butter, smooth and sometimes nutty, leaves a lasting flavor.
Honey, sweetness added to anything, oozing into everything, making it better.
Walnuts, chestnuts, pecans, hard shell on the outside, soft on the inside.
Tea, steeped dark in the summer or hot with milk in the winter, making life happier.
Coffee with cream, fills you with joy and energy.
by LaShelle
Chocolate cake, warm, delicious, makes you feel good and cozy.
Vanilla Wafers, firm yet sweet, goes well with about anything.
Cinnamon, making the house smell good, adding spice and flavor to everything it touches.
Peanut Butter, smooth and sometimes nutty, leaves a lasting flavor.
Honey, sweetness added to anything, oozing into everything, making it better.
Walnuts, chestnuts, pecans, hard shell on the outside, soft on the inside.
Tea, steeped dark in the summer or hot with milk in the winter, making life happier.
Coffee with cream, fills you with joy and energy.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Old and alone
I had a moment today as I was working on a project and I am going to let my mind vent. Let me preface this post with this thought: This thought is totally my own, it is not a passive-aggressive blast at anyone, just my own mind working things out.
I want to live my life in such a way so when I am older, I will have people who love me. I want people to love me enough to hang out with me and spend time with me. Even when I am old and breaking down, I want to have lived a kind of life and raised the type of children that can't wait to come visit me. That want me to spend time with their kids and their kids' kids. I want to show love and concern now and throughout the next few decades so that when I get to the old and breaking down point, I will have surrounded myself with people who truly love me.
Is there a magic formula for growing old with grace and surrounded by loving family? I don't know, I'm only in my 30's. I know that any kind of peaceful life needs to start with Christ. I also know that I need to be a good listener and a good friend to have good friends who will listen to my nonsense. I know that I need to be the best parent to my children and a good grandparent to my future grandkids. I need to make myself available to my family and make efforts to keep in touch with those who are important to me.
What about you? Do you know an older person who is alone alot? How do you nurture your special relationships? Do you want to be alone when you are old or surrounded by family?
I want to live my life in such a way so when I am older, I will have people who love me. I want people to love me enough to hang out with me and spend time with me. Even when I am old and breaking down, I want to have lived a kind of life and raised the type of children that can't wait to come visit me. That want me to spend time with their kids and their kids' kids. I want to show love and concern now and throughout the next few decades so that when I get to the old and breaking down point, I will have surrounded myself with people who truly love me.
Is there a magic formula for growing old with grace and surrounded by loving family? I don't know, I'm only in my 30's. I know that any kind of peaceful life needs to start with Christ. I also know that I need to be a good listener and a good friend to have good friends who will listen to my nonsense. I know that I need to be the best parent to my children and a good grandparent to my future grandkids. I need to make myself available to my family and make efforts to keep in touch with those who are important to me.
What about you? Do you know an older person who is alone alot? How do you nurture your special relationships? Do you want to be alone when you are old or surrounded by family?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Should children be banned from certain restaurants?
A restaurant in Pennsylvania has banned children under 6 from their restaurant because of noise complaints. I am curious to hear your thoughts. A FB friend of mine put this as her status and a very interesting debate has occured. There seem to be 2 families of thought:
It is discrimination
It is age discrimination for a restaurant to ban anybody because of their age. Everybody should be able to go everywhere all the time. If we allow this ban then it will only escalate to banning all kinds of people.
It is justified
A private restaurant has the right to decide to serve only people ages 7 + because of the type of people it wishes to serve. If people aren't coming to their restaurant because of screaming children, it is hurting business and they have the right to preserve it the way they see fit.
Personally, I could care less if a business chooses not to allow young children. If I have my kids, we just won't be going there for dinner. But if I want a nice romantic night with my spouse, that restaurant would rank quite higher on my list. It is one of those "If you don't like it - don't go there" kind of things.
Recently, we took our whole family to Applebee's for dinner. We sat in a corner booth for big parties and everybody behaved well. Unfortunately, a family of 3 was sitting at the table next to us, 2 parents and a 3 year old little girl. The girl kept twisting the rod to the blinds (that I was facing) so they would shoot open blasting me with sunlight and then shutting, putting us in darkness. After this happened 3 or 4 times, I was ready to complain to either the parents or our waiter. I was facing that window and the sun was shining directly in and it was very uncomfortable for me. My husband, calm and patient (darn him) told me I couldn't complain and just to let it go. Had the parents just gently admonished the child, we could have all eaten in peace. Instead, their dinner was ruined because she wouldn't sit down and be quiet and we were being strobe lighted. In this instance, a ban on children under a certain age would have been quite welcome : )
I think businesses have the right to cater to a certain crowd of people as long as it doesn't become discrimination. We as people also have the right to not eat somewhere if we don't agree with their practices. Being in an interracial marriage, there are some establishments my husband and I don't go to because we don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation. As a woman, there are places I am not going to go to eat like the Gentleman's Gold Club. I am not going to take my kids to Hooters because I don't feel like dealing with boobs. I realize those businesses haven't banned certain ages or people but they have set up their businesses to cater to a certain crowd and it keeps most other crowds out. This restaurant in PA has set up their restaurant to cater to a more upscale group of people and screaming children are not welcome.
What do you think? Do you think it is discrimination? Or do you feel it is a justified ban? Please voice your thoughts but keep it friendly.
It is discrimination
It is age discrimination for a restaurant to ban anybody because of their age. Everybody should be able to go everywhere all the time. If we allow this ban then it will only escalate to banning all kinds of people.
It is justified
A private restaurant has the right to decide to serve only people ages 7 + because of the type of people it wishes to serve. If people aren't coming to their restaurant because of screaming children, it is hurting business and they have the right to preserve it the way they see fit.
Personally, I could care less if a business chooses not to allow young children. If I have my kids, we just won't be going there for dinner. But if I want a nice romantic night with my spouse, that restaurant would rank quite higher on my list. It is one of those "If you don't like it - don't go there" kind of things.
Recently, we took our whole family to Applebee's for dinner. We sat in a corner booth for big parties and everybody behaved well. Unfortunately, a family of 3 was sitting at the table next to us, 2 parents and a 3 year old little girl. The girl kept twisting the rod to the blinds (that I was facing) so they would shoot open blasting me with sunlight and then shutting, putting us in darkness. After this happened 3 or 4 times, I was ready to complain to either the parents or our waiter. I was facing that window and the sun was shining directly in and it was very uncomfortable for me. My husband, calm and patient (darn him) told me I couldn't complain and just to let it go. Had the parents just gently admonished the child, we could have all eaten in peace. Instead, their dinner was ruined because she wouldn't sit down and be quiet and we were being strobe lighted. In this instance, a ban on children under a certain age would have been quite welcome : )
I think businesses have the right to cater to a certain crowd of people as long as it doesn't become discrimination. We as people also have the right to not eat somewhere if we don't agree with their practices. Being in an interracial marriage, there are some establishments my husband and I don't go to because we don't want to be in an uncomfortable situation. As a woman, there are places I am not going to go to eat like the Gentleman's Gold Club. I am not going to take my kids to Hooters because I don't feel like dealing with boobs. I realize those businesses haven't banned certain ages or people but they have set up their businesses to cater to a certain crowd and it keeps most other crowds out. This restaurant in PA has set up their restaurant to cater to a more upscale group of people and screaming children are not welcome.
What do you think? Do you think it is discrimination? Or do you feel it is a justified ban? Please voice your thoughts but keep it friendly.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Who's with me?
So, a friend of mine called me the other day and told me about all the trials her family is currently suffering. It is unbelievable the amount of things that are going wrong! Her marriage, finances, car, are all under fire and some things I can't even mention. We got to talking about faith and she said something that made me think. She told me that her and her husband decided years ago to start this ministry and they feel very led to continue it even though it is time and money demanding and they really don't have either. She said that when you step out in faith to follow the Lord's leading (and have a ministry) you put yourself in a position for Satan to try and stop you. I think what she meant was that when you follow the Lord, you put yourself right in Satan's missile path. She is being attacked from all sides because her family is obeying what they feel is the Lord's will for their life. It got me thinking. (oh no! here it comes!)...
If you are not struggling with something hard, are you really stepping out and following the Lord? or Do we have to be struggling with awesome life problems to be following God? It made me think about my own current present life. I am not currently struggling with anything big. I always have small things but nothing major that would cause me to be on my knees begging God to intervene. Am I doing what He needs me to do? Or is this just a resting period before the storm? I don't know. I am not struggling with anything big but I have to be honest, I am not doing anything big for God right now either. I am laying low, taking a summer off of everything. I am not ministering to anybody, witnessing to anybody, taking any churchy classes, nothing. I am taking a walk everyday, hanging out with my kids, cleaning, and watching alot of BBC movies. I am not inviting people over to share Jesus with them. I am not going on mission trips (although I did support our church trip and I prayed for them). I am not doing anything that would cause me to be uncomfortable or feel tingly or anything!
Now, before I get emails from people setting me straight, I am not saying that trials mean we are following God. Nor am I saying that if we are following God, we have to also be struggling with something. But it did make me think about my own life. I want to serve God with my whole being. I also want God to refine me into something He can use for His glory. But nothing is going to happen if I sit on my butt and don't go out there and talk to people! Or if I am only hanging out with my saved friends and not attempting to reach out to people. I know God can work through my laziness but is that what I want to be shown when I stand before Him? No! We had a guest pastor at our church this past Sunday and he said something like this: "Do we want to leave buttprints on our couches or do we want to leave kneeprints on the floor and teardrops on the couch because we were praying? Do we want to leave empty bank accounts because we supported ministries and ragged clothes because we were working so hard for the Kingdom?"
I want to work hard for the Kingdom. I do. But I need to cast aside my laziness and my fear and get out there and do! Who's with me?? Who's ready to cast off the lethargy of summer and reach people for God? Who's ready to be put in Satan's missile path because we are considered lethal threats? (puts on super cool sunglasses) Let's do this.
If you are not struggling with something hard, are you really stepping out and following the Lord? or Do we have to be struggling with awesome life problems to be following God? It made me think about my own current present life. I am not currently struggling with anything big. I always have small things but nothing major that would cause me to be on my knees begging God to intervene. Am I doing what He needs me to do? Or is this just a resting period before the storm? I don't know. I am not struggling with anything big but I have to be honest, I am not doing anything big for God right now either. I am laying low, taking a summer off of everything. I am not ministering to anybody, witnessing to anybody, taking any churchy classes, nothing. I am taking a walk everyday, hanging out with my kids, cleaning, and watching alot of BBC movies. I am not inviting people over to share Jesus with them. I am not going on mission trips (although I did support our church trip and I prayed for them). I am not doing anything that would cause me to be uncomfortable or feel tingly or anything!
Now, before I get emails from people setting me straight, I am not saying that trials mean we are following God. Nor am I saying that if we are following God, we have to also be struggling with something. But it did make me think about my own life. I want to serve God with my whole being. I also want God to refine me into something He can use for His glory. But nothing is going to happen if I sit on my butt and don't go out there and talk to people! Or if I am only hanging out with my saved friends and not attempting to reach out to people. I know God can work through my laziness but is that what I want to be shown when I stand before Him? No! We had a guest pastor at our church this past Sunday and he said something like this: "Do we want to leave buttprints on our couches or do we want to leave kneeprints on the floor and teardrops on the couch because we were praying? Do we want to leave empty bank accounts because we supported ministries and ragged clothes because we were working so hard for the Kingdom?"
I want to work hard for the Kingdom. I do. But I need to cast aside my laziness and my fear and get out there and do! Who's with me?? Who's ready to cast off the lethargy of summer and reach people for God? Who's ready to be put in Satan's missile path because we are considered lethal threats? (puts on super cool sunglasses) Let's do this.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Losing Weight: The Inside Story
For those of you who know me, you probably know that I have been losing weight since last August. If you don't know me, well, I have been losing weight since last August : ) I came to a point in my brain where weight loss wasn't something to be avoided anymore. It just clicked in there and stuck. I completely changed my eating habits, like I have done a million times before with a million different diet ideas, but this time it worked. I started eating 5-6 small 200 calorie meals, mostly protein. I completely cut out wheat products from my diet and stuck to rice and potatoes as my starches. I started losing weight! I ate my yogurts, homemade crab salad on rice cakes, turkey rolls with cheese inside, and vegetables. Not only did I lose weight steadily, I actually kept it off. I have had moments of insanity, especially around Christmas. My daughter makes this fabulous fudge and we made alot of it and we ate alot of it! Mmmmm, so tasty! I have good days and bad days and I let myself cheat so that I don't completely blow it. I weigh myself as often as I can on one scale. I'm sure the school nurse knows all about me as I have chosen the elementary school scale as my "standard". Every time I'm there, I weigh myself so she gets all my news first, whether good or bad. I love seeing that little hangy thing go lower and lower on the scale. First, it was 10 lbs. Then 15. Then 20. Then 25. The last time I weighed, I was down 27 pounds since last August. Some months I don't lose anything and every once in a while, I gain. Usually because I have started eating badly again.
I didn't start losing weight because my Spouse didn't love me for me. I didn't start because of any comments or anything. I did it for me. I didn't like looking at pictures of myself, I looked so pasty and smooth. Not that smooth is bad, but an angle here and there isn't so bad, especially around the jawline. I felt uncomfortable in my clothes and I was noticing that I had gotten past size 16's and was creeping into 18's. My extra large shirts were looking rather sausagy and my airway was constricted every time I bent over. Turning red while tying your shoes is just ridiculous.
Now, I'm in a happy size 14 and continuing to lose slowly. I am trying to lose 7 more pounds so I can be in the next "10's" down. I can go into a store and try on stuff and not only does it fit, it actually looks good! I feel much prettier in my clothes and am fitting into stuff that I wore years ago! I feel healthy and energized. I am taking the weight loss a day at a time and a goal at a time. I am not looking to be skinny or teenageresque or anything, just happy and comfortable. I like walking around with my kids and they're not embarassed to be seen with me.
What about you? Are you losing weight? Are you happy with where you are? Are you on the other spectrum: too skinny? Are you the chubby sibling or the skinny sibling? (I'm the chubby one, I outgrew my sister by age 11) (dang it, I hate being the chubby sister!)(blog for another day)(don't you just love parentheses?)
I didn't start losing weight because my Spouse didn't love me for me. I didn't start because of any comments or anything. I did it for me. I didn't like looking at pictures of myself, I looked so pasty and smooth. Not that smooth is bad, but an angle here and there isn't so bad, especially around the jawline. I felt uncomfortable in my clothes and I was noticing that I had gotten past size 16's and was creeping into 18's. My extra large shirts were looking rather sausagy and my airway was constricted every time I bent over. Turning red while tying your shoes is just ridiculous.
Now, I'm in a happy size 14 and continuing to lose slowly. I am trying to lose 7 more pounds so I can be in the next "10's" down. I can go into a store and try on stuff and not only does it fit, it actually looks good! I feel much prettier in my clothes and am fitting into stuff that I wore years ago! I feel healthy and energized. I am taking the weight loss a day at a time and a goal at a time. I am not looking to be skinny or teenageresque or anything, just happy and comfortable. I like walking around with my kids and they're not embarassed to be seen with me.
What about you? Are you losing weight? Are you happy with where you are? Are you on the other spectrum: too skinny? Are you the chubby sibling or the skinny sibling? (I'm the chubby one, I outgrew my sister by age 11) (dang it, I hate being the chubby sister!)(blog for another day)(don't you just love parentheses?)
Monday, June 20, 2011
Breastfeeding in Public: Pro or Anti?
I made a new friend at school this year and she is from Argentina. We have discussed how our countries are different when it comes to how the human body is viewed. Americans in general tend to be a little more uptight about what can be displayed publicly and Argentinians are a little more relaxed. We got into quite a discussion one day about whether or not people should breastfeed in public so I thought I would blog about it. Please post your opinion at the bottom because I really am curious.
My friend thinks that breastfeeding is a natural thing and should be openly accepted. She feels like breasts were made for feeding as well as pleasure and if a woman is feeding a baby, boobs should be viewed like a bottle. She doesn't understand why Americans don't see it the way she does, which is understandable. She also doesn't understand why we don't all wear thong bikinis but that is another blog : )
I have nursed 6 babies in public with very mixed emotions. With my first baby, I was very self-conscious and would leave the room to nurse the baby. That got old real fast. With my second baby, I got a nursing cover and breastfeeding shirts which allowed me more freedom. By the 6th baby, I really just didn't care anymore and was expert at keeping myself covered with my clothes and feeding pretty much anywhere. I love to see women breastfeeding their babies but I admit, it does make me uncomfortable when a woman is very open about it. I saw a lady once at Aldi's openly feeding with a boob just hanging out, putting her groceries on the conveyer, keeping an eye on her other children, and chatting up people in line. She acted like it was nothing and people just accepted it. I had to give her credit, I would have been blushing up a storm if that had been me!
I also like when a group of women are together and we can openly nurse without embarassment. Nursing a baby is natural and a gift. I loved looking down on their sweet little faces and knowing I was doing something for them that no one else could do. I have to admit, I also liked switching them to bottles so I could sleep through the night : ) and watch my husband bond with them as well.
But what about in public? Should women cover up? Should ladies be forced to cover up for the sake of someone else's discomfort or opinion? Nursing under a cover is hot and bothersome but does give privacy for everyone involved. What do ya'll think? Personally I think discretion is the way to go in America but more power to you if you want to hang it all out there.
My friend thinks that breastfeeding is a natural thing and should be openly accepted. She feels like breasts were made for feeding as well as pleasure and if a woman is feeding a baby, boobs should be viewed like a bottle. She doesn't understand why Americans don't see it the way she does, which is understandable. She also doesn't understand why we don't all wear thong bikinis but that is another blog : )
I have nursed 6 babies in public with very mixed emotions. With my first baby, I was very self-conscious and would leave the room to nurse the baby. That got old real fast. With my second baby, I got a nursing cover and breastfeeding shirts which allowed me more freedom. By the 6th baby, I really just didn't care anymore and was expert at keeping myself covered with my clothes and feeding pretty much anywhere. I love to see women breastfeeding their babies but I admit, it does make me uncomfortable when a woman is very open about it. I saw a lady once at Aldi's openly feeding with a boob just hanging out, putting her groceries on the conveyer, keeping an eye on her other children, and chatting up people in line. She acted like it was nothing and people just accepted it. I had to give her credit, I would have been blushing up a storm if that had been me!
I also like when a group of women are together and we can openly nurse without embarassment. Nursing a baby is natural and a gift. I loved looking down on their sweet little faces and knowing I was doing something for them that no one else could do. I have to admit, I also liked switching them to bottles so I could sleep through the night : ) and watch my husband bond with them as well.
But what about in public? Should women cover up? Should ladies be forced to cover up for the sake of someone else's discomfort or opinion? Nursing under a cover is hot and bothersome but does give privacy for everyone involved. What do ya'll think? Personally I think discretion is the way to go in America but more power to you if you want to hang it all out there.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Facebook: Friend or Foe?
I began reading a book about modern technology for a class and it sparked several debates among family and friends. Is Facebook a friend to modern man or a foe? Does it create relationships and bring people closer? Or does it keep us in our little nuclear families without creating new relationships with the people who live around us? I'll give a few examples of each and then we can discuss.
Facebook keeps us from getting to know our neighbors.
If we are spending time on FB getting to reknow our old HS buddies and the new people at church and keeping in touch with our family, do we really have the time to get to know our neighbors? How many of you really know your neighbors? Even better, are your neighbors your friends on FB? I have relationships with several of my neighbors, a couple who are, in fact, my FB friends. One friend I met at the school and we and our kids have become buddies. Another neighbor I met when she and her daughter were selling girl scout cookies. The people across the street both work full time but we enjoy monthly coversations as we yell across the street. The kids love the guy over there because he shovels snow in his shorts. They call him Jack Frost. The next door neighbor is a single lady with 2 dogs. I run into her a couple times a week when she is walking her dogs and she is doing just fine. That is probably the extent I am going to know my neighbors here. I may invite next door lady over this summer for a BBQ but that really has nothing to do with FB. Is it wrong for us to want to cultivate long lost friendships? Or is wrong that we spend more time cultivating far away relationships over new ones closer to home? I don't know, I think that would have to depend on the situation. If you live in an isolated area, FB might be helpful. If you are ignoring potential friends in your area by hangin on FB, that could be a problem.
I don't want to know what the kids in my HS are doing.
This is not a personal sentiment, I just hear it all the time. Personally, I love seeing what my old buddies are doing but I have to say, I am not looking to start cultivating. I like FB in the old HS buddy arena because I can keep up with them without having to expend alot of energy and time. There might be a few people I would like to get with from time to time to remember old times and have our kids play but that is about it. I love FB so I can chat with them and see their pics without having to travel. Some people hated HS and have no desire to see what those people are doing. They didn't get along with "those people" and want to move on. (Maybe those people have neighbors that are fabulous friends : )
Facebook keeps us glued to our computers.
How many times a day do you check FB? 1, 5, 25, every time your phone buzzes? Are you the kind of person who checks it in the evening when your kids are in bed or are you the kind who checks every second of every day and has a comment to make on Everybody's statuses? I guess we should really ask ourselves if it is wrong to be glued to our computers and phones. That's a good question. Phones are nifty little things that keep us connected to our teenagers, spouses, parents, friends, and bosses. We can text our kids to see where they are, text our buddies to tell them news, and text little love notes to our spouses. But phones can be a huge disruption. Talking on the phone while paying for our groceries is kind of rude and who has been enjoying a quiet dinner when a cell phone has interrupted us? We are always tethered to people who want to get in touch with us. But I have gotten sidetracked. Now that we can access FB on our phones, we have all day access in our pockets or hip phone holder thingies. Whenever I get a notification on FB, my phone pings. I can just reach in and check to see who is trying to tell me something. I can immediately respond and communicate with people that I normally wouldn't be communicating with. Again though, it can be disruptive if you are on a date and the person you are with keeps checking FB or posting their "places" or whatever. Or if your phone wakes you up several times a night with that incessant "pinging" (which usually means a fabulous status posting by somebody).
I don't know if I can think of anymore topic headings but I'm sure ya'll can. Personally, I see FB as a friend. I can keep up with all of my family because they all live out of state. I am friends with several of my kids' teachers and I get school updates and can easily reach them if need be. I am friends with over 150 people from church and it keeps me in touch with their daily lives. I am friends with my friends and can easily check on them or invite them to parties. I am friends with old high school and junior high school buddies. I can see people I have known since I was 5 and see how they grew up and what their kids look like. I know which of my friends are going through a hard time, who is a Star Wars fan, what kind of music they listen to, what concerts they've been to, and who has sick kids. I can tell people funny things my kids say or if I have something I just have to get off my chest. I can share victories and sorrows. I can run into someone I don't see much and can ask them about their water leak in their bathroom or they can ask me how I did on the paper I posted aobut. I have no desire to reconnect with an old flame but it is fun to see pics of them all grown up. I am not interested in giving up my current friends but I do use FB to try to better my friendship with them. I use FB to tell my Spouse I love him or my teens that they are loved. I consider FB a friend.
How about you? Do you consider FB a friend or a foe? What other topics could you add? I have to say that I probably could have added more but I am a little distracted with American Idol. Who do you think should win?
Facebook keeps us from getting to know our neighbors.
If we are spending time on FB getting to reknow our old HS buddies and the new people at church and keeping in touch with our family, do we really have the time to get to know our neighbors? How many of you really know your neighbors? Even better, are your neighbors your friends on FB? I have relationships with several of my neighbors, a couple who are, in fact, my FB friends. One friend I met at the school and we and our kids have become buddies. Another neighbor I met when she and her daughter were selling girl scout cookies. The people across the street both work full time but we enjoy monthly coversations as we yell across the street. The kids love the guy over there because he shovels snow in his shorts. They call him Jack Frost. The next door neighbor is a single lady with 2 dogs. I run into her a couple times a week when she is walking her dogs and she is doing just fine. That is probably the extent I am going to know my neighbors here. I may invite next door lady over this summer for a BBQ but that really has nothing to do with FB. Is it wrong for us to want to cultivate long lost friendships? Or is wrong that we spend more time cultivating far away relationships over new ones closer to home? I don't know, I think that would have to depend on the situation. If you live in an isolated area, FB might be helpful. If you are ignoring potential friends in your area by hangin on FB, that could be a problem.
I don't want to know what the kids in my HS are doing.
This is not a personal sentiment, I just hear it all the time. Personally, I love seeing what my old buddies are doing but I have to say, I am not looking to start cultivating. I like FB in the old HS buddy arena because I can keep up with them without having to expend alot of energy and time. There might be a few people I would like to get with from time to time to remember old times and have our kids play but that is about it. I love FB so I can chat with them and see their pics without having to travel. Some people hated HS and have no desire to see what those people are doing. They didn't get along with "those people" and want to move on. (Maybe those people have neighbors that are fabulous friends : )
Facebook keeps us glued to our computers.
How many times a day do you check FB? 1, 5, 25, every time your phone buzzes? Are you the kind of person who checks it in the evening when your kids are in bed or are you the kind who checks every second of every day and has a comment to make on Everybody's statuses? I guess we should really ask ourselves if it is wrong to be glued to our computers and phones. That's a good question. Phones are nifty little things that keep us connected to our teenagers, spouses, parents, friends, and bosses. We can text our kids to see where they are, text our buddies to tell them news, and text little love notes to our spouses. But phones can be a huge disruption. Talking on the phone while paying for our groceries is kind of rude and who has been enjoying a quiet dinner when a cell phone has interrupted us? We are always tethered to people who want to get in touch with us. But I have gotten sidetracked. Now that we can access FB on our phones, we have all day access in our pockets or hip phone holder thingies. Whenever I get a notification on FB, my phone pings. I can just reach in and check to see who is trying to tell me something. I can immediately respond and communicate with people that I normally wouldn't be communicating with. Again though, it can be disruptive if you are on a date and the person you are with keeps checking FB or posting their "places" or whatever. Or if your phone wakes you up several times a night with that incessant "pinging" (which usually means a fabulous status posting by somebody).
I don't know if I can think of anymore topic headings but I'm sure ya'll can. Personally, I see FB as a friend. I can keep up with all of my family because they all live out of state. I am friends with several of my kids' teachers and I get school updates and can easily reach them if need be. I am friends with over 150 people from church and it keeps me in touch with their daily lives. I am friends with my friends and can easily check on them or invite them to parties. I am friends with old high school and junior high school buddies. I can see people I have known since I was 5 and see how they grew up and what their kids look like. I know which of my friends are going through a hard time, who is a Star Wars fan, what kind of music they listen to, what concerts they've been to, and who has sick kids. I can tell people funny things my kids say or if I have something I just have to get off my chest. I can share victories and sorrows. I can run into someone I don't see much and can ask them about their water leak in their bathroom or they can ask me how I did on the paper I posted aobut. I have no desire to reconnect with an old flame but it is fun to see pics of them all grown up. I am not interested in giving up my current friends but I do use FB to try to better my friendship with them. I use FB to tell my Spouse I love him or my teens that they are loved. I consider FB a friend.
How about you? Do you consider FB a friend or a foe? What other topics could you add? I have to say that I probably could have added more but I am a little distracted with American Idol. Who do you think should win?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Riding along in my automobile
I am feeling very nostalgic of late and I wanted to share some memories with you. My parents bought me a Geo Metro back in 1993 for my first "real car". It was burgandy and it had shiny plastic Geo rims. No AC, a dinky little radio that we replaced, and the tiniest engine known to man. I used to drive it down to Laurel to buy $10 worth of gas that would last all week. Dad and I put in a new radio and hung stereo speakers in the backseat with drywall screws. They used to fall off all the time, my friends knew to just stick them back up.
I loved that car. I would blast my cheesy music that only I liked and hang my elbow out the window like I was something. John Lennon sunglasses, wind blowing through my hair, singing Crash Test Dummies or Phantom of the Opera at the top of my lungs. My Junior year of HS I had a group of friends that I hung out with (ya'll know who you are) and we went all over in that car. We drove down to Savage Mills to hang out with a buddy, drove to school games, and down to the movies where my boyfriend worked. I took that same boyfriend down to SC for spring break one year. We drove down to my hometown, Greenwood, SC to visit all my friends. I remember his shock when we drove into town and passed a police car. It was one of those old Dukes of Hazzard cars with the single blue light on top. MD had upgraded to the Taurus at the time and he laughed his head off. He also thought all the pick up trucks were a little much but it was home to me : )
One summer, my sister, my cousin, and I drove to MI to visit family. We got out at one rest stop and one of my shiny plastic Geo rims was missing. I was sad but what could I do? It was gone. We stopped at another rest stop later and 2 more were missing. We laughed til we cried, driving my little ghetto Metro up to MI with one plastic rim. That rim stayed put til my senior year when my dad bought me a brand new set of shiny plastic rims.
I drove all over in that car. I drove to SC several times, to MI to visit family, to school, the movies, to visit friends, and to work. I used to put the little 2 year old that I watched in the back seat in his car seat and take him to the mall. My mom and I drove it to SC once and one of my contacts flew out of my eye at a gas station and she had to drive the rest of the way. She was so mad! I was just as mad, those contacts cost money and I had to have just one in the rest of the way home.
I got a speeding ticket once on the way home from SC, cop told me I was doing 85 in that little tiny car. I laughed in his face and told him No Way! It doesn't even do 80, it shakes so hard you can't steer it. He didn't see things my way and gave me a ticket. Meanie.
I got another ticket before that and wasn't all that suck upish then either. I got a ticket and had to go to DIP (driver improvement program). I was sitting there with all these grown men who had gotten DUI's and I decided no more speeding. (except that one from SC but that was a couple years later and I wasn't speeding)
I used to drive it to work in Columbia where I would call people during dinner and ask them who they were voting for in the upcoming election. I would walk over to Wawa and buy Mountain Dew and Reeses Pieces to eat while I called people and made them mad. Guess who I met at the Wawa? Yup, my Spouse! He was all smiley and cute and trying to hit on me. I thought he was a teenager so I let him. Little did I know he was old (jk spouse). Anyway, we hit it off well and things blossomed from there. I would drive the Metro to hang out at his house or go to the park and walk around. We would drive to Rock N Bowl til 3 am listening to Clarence Carter and bowling like we knew how.
We got pulled over once when I was humongous pregnant. I didn't hang my front license plate because there was no place to hang it. I would keep it in the backseat in case I ever got pulled over so I could show the cop I had it. The cop was really nice and told me that when we were done running our errands to find some way to hang it. No problem Officer! After our last stop, we were heading back to my house (to hang the license plate of course) when we got pulled over again. Miss Officer was not buying our story, attempted to pull a gun on us, thought my Tums case was a cocaine holder, and bullied her way through the entire stop. I had never been so harassed. But guess what? We hung that license plate!
All in all, my Geo Metro was a little egg shaped gift from heaven. If I ever have the opportunity, I will buy another one and drive it around, even if just to embarass my teenagers. I wish I had some pics of it but I don't think I do. What was your first car? Did you name it? What's your favorite memory?
I loved that car. I would blast my cheesy music that only I liked and hang my elbow out the window like I was something. John Lennon sunglasses, wind blowing through my hair, singing Crash Test Dummies or Phantom of the Opera at the top of my lungs. My Junior year of HS I had a group of friends that I hung out with (ya'll know who you are) and we went all over in that car. We drove down to Savage Mills to hang out with a buddy, drove to school games, and down to the movies where my boyfriend worked. I took that same boyfriend down to SC for spring break one year. We drove down to my hometown, Greenwood, SC to visit all my friends. I remember his shock when we drove into town and passed a police car. It was one of those old Dukes of Hazzard cars with the single blue light on top. MD had upgraded to the Taurus at the time and he laughed his head off. He also thought all the pick up trucks were a little much but it was home to me : )
One summer, my sister, my cousin, and I drove to MI to visit family. We got out at one rest stop and one of my shiny plastic Geo rims was missing. I was sad but what could I do? It was gone. We stopped at another rest stop later and 2 more were missing. We laughed til we cried, driving my little ghetto Metro up to MI with one plastic rim. That rim stayed put til my senior year when my dad bought me a brand new set of shiny plastic rims.
I drove all over in that car. I drove to SC several times, to MI to visit family, to school, the movies, to visit friends, and to work. I used to put the little 2 year old that I watched in the back seat in his car seat and take him to the mall. My mom and I drove it to SC once and one of my contacts flew out of my eye at a gas station and she had to drive the rest of the way. She was so mad! I was just as mad, those contacts cost money and I had to have just one in the rest of the way home.
I got a speeding ticket once on the way home from SC, cop told me I was doing 85 in that little tiny car. I laughed in his face and told him No Way! It doesn't even do 80, it shakes so hard you can't steer it. He didn't see things my way and gave me a ticket. Meanie.
I got another ticket before that and wasn't all that suck upish then either. I got a ticket and had to go to DIP (driver improvement program). I was sitting there with all these grown men who had gotten DUI's and I decided no more speeding. (except that one from SC but that was a couple years later and I wasn't speeding)
I used to drive it to work in Columbia where I would call people during dinner and ask them who they were voting for in the upcoming election. I would walk over to Wawa and buy Mountain Dew and Reeses Pieces to eat while I called people and made them mad. Guess who I met at the Wawa? Yup, my Spouse! He was all smiley and cute and trying to hit on me. I thought he was a teenager so I let him. Little did I know he was old (jk spouse). Anyway, we hit it off well and things blossomed from there. I would drive the Metro to hang out at his house or go to the park and walk around. We would drive to Rock N Bowl til 3 am listening to Clarence Carter and bowling like we knew how.
We got pulled over once when I was humongous pregnant. I didn't hang my front license plate because there was no place to hang it. I would keep it in the backseat in case I ever got pulled over so I could show the cop I had it. The cop was really nice and told me that when we were done running our errands to find some way to hang it. No problem Officer! After our last stop, we were heading back to my house (to hang the license plate of course) when we got pulled over again. Miss Officer was not buying our story, attempted to pull a gun on us, thought my Tums case was a cocaine holder, and bullied her way through the entire stop. I had never been so harassed. But guess what? We hung that license plate!
All in all, my Geo Metro was a little egg shaped gift from heaven. If I ever have the opportunity, I will buy another one and drive it around, even if just to embarass my teenagers. I wish I had some pics of it but I don't think I do. What was your first car? Did you name it? What's your favorite memory?
Friday, April 22, 2011
All for the Glory of God, right?
I had a very interesting conversation this week with a friend and thought I'd let ya'll in on it. We were discussing performing at church and she had a totally different viewpoint on it than I did. We were enlightening each other on our viewpoints. She felt that only talented people should get on stage and I disagreed. Here's how it went down:
She wanted to know if I was singing a special song for Easter and I told her no. She said she wanted to see me up on stage more often. I was flattered but it wasn't my decision. We began discussing talent and humility versus performance attitudes. When people perform at church, talent is certainly a factor, but the main reason is to give glory to God. Can we give glory even if we know we're good? Can we enjoy worship if we are musically trained? Should people who can't really sing perform a solo?
When I get up on stage at church to sing, whether it's a solo or in a group, I struggle each time to put my perspective on God. I am singing for His glory, He gave me the talent, I am not doing it to receive praise for myself. I have to tell myself that each time, over and over. I know I can sing and I know I'm pretty good. Is that pride? No, it's self awareness and confidence in my ability. When a pastor gives a wonderful sermon that stays in your memory, it is both the gifting of the Lord and their training to deliver it well. When the Lord gives us a talent, we should certainly train ourselves in it and do our best at it. I have an ability to sing, so I train to sing. I have a horrible attention span, I certainly wouldn't train to be a referee. Who has the ball? Where did it go? I have no idea, I was watching a butterfly fly around the field. My husband has the uncanny ability to focus all his attention on a game and he makes an excellent referee. Although he has a desire to sing, he's really not that good at it. He gives it all at karaoke or church, but it is not his gifting. Should he sing a solo at church? Probably not. But if he did get on stage and sang, giving glory to God who loves to hear him sing, why should we care? Can we enjoy hearing him perform knowing that his heart is in the right place? Sure! There are always going to be people who want to perform at church who aren't what we consider "good". But guess what? God does. God considers all of our praise music to His ears.
Church is not a concert. We aren't going to be entertained, we are going to be taught the Lord's word and find each and every way to give praise to Him. Each and every person who is on stage at church is a volunteer. They weren't sought out for their gifts, they asked to be up there. Most of them are musically trained and alot of them are music teachers. They show up at the crack of dawn (ok, 8:30, but still, it's early) to set up and practice. Sure we are not perfect, no performer is. But we are not there to be perfect, Jesus is the only one who can do that. We are there to lead the congregation in praise and worship, to bring ourselves as close to Him as we can.
Each church is full of volunteers and not all of them are working in their gifted area. I know nursery workers who aren't good with babies, Sunday school teachers who can't teach, parking attendants that can't even drive yet, and ushers who aren't always smiley. But guess what? They are there with a positive attitude and a willingness to serve. They are there with a heart full of love for their Lord. I also know people who are gifted in several areas and move around the church volunteering in different positions from year to year. I am a pretty good Sunday school teacher but I am not currently teaching. I wanted to hold babies, and guess what, I am pretty good at that too. I would also like to be a greeter someday because I am pretty smiley and I like to meet new people. I do NOT want to be a pastor, a sound tech, or a parking attendant. If the Lord put me in those positions, I would do them happily, but probably not very well. The Bible says, Whatever we do, do it for the glory of God. It doesn't say, whatever we do WELL, do it for the glory of God.
What do you think? Should only "good" singers sing on stage? Should people try out different things even if they aren't good at it? Can we serve the Lord with humility even if we know we are good at something? Tell me your thoughts.
*edit*
I just wanted to be clear that I think each church has the responsibility to put people where they are the most talented in the church and to be doing their utmost to make the service peaceful and beautiful. Singers should be singing, teachers teaching, guardians guarding, etc. I do think if you can or have the opportunity, to try serving in new ways at your church. I don't think any Joe Blow should be singing solos, I just don't feel that you have to have a degree in something to do it at church. I hope that's more clear : ) I do agree with my first 2 commenters and that's what prompted the "edit".
She wanted to know if I was singing a special song for Easter and I told her no. She said she wanted to see me up on stage more often. I was flattered but it wasn't my decision. We began discussing talent and humility versus performance attitudes. When people perform at church, talent is certainly a factor, but the main reason is to give glory to God. Can we give glory even if we know we're good? Can we enjoy worship if we are musically trained? Should people who can't really sing perform a solo?
When I get up on stage at church to sing, whether it's a solo or in a group, I struggle each time to put my perspective on God. I am singing for His glory, He gave me the talent, I am not doing it to receive praise for myself. I have to tell myself that each time, over and over. I know I can sing and I know I'm pretty good. Is that pride? No, it's self awareness and confidence in my ability. When a pastor gives a wonderful sermon that stays in your memory, it is both the gifting of the Lord and their training to deliver it well. When the Lord gives us a talent, we should certainly train ourselves in it and do our best at it. I have an ability to sing, so I train to sing. I have a horrible attention span, I certainly wouldn't train to be a referee. Who has the ball? Where did it go? I have no idea, I was watching a butterfly fly around the field. My husband has the uncanny ability to focus all his attention on a game and he makes an excellent referee. Although he has a desire to sing, he's really not that good at it. He gives it all at karaoke or church, but it is not his gifting. Should he sing a solo at church? Probably not. But if he did get on stage and sang, giving glory to God who loves to hear him sing, why should we care? Can we enjoy hearing him perform knowing that his heart is in the right place? Sure! There are always going to be people who want to perform at church who aren't what we consider "good". But guess what? God does. God considers all of our praise music to His ears.
Church is not a concert. We aren't going to be entertained, we are going to be taught the Lord's word and find each and every way to give praise to Him. Each and every person who is on stage at church is a volunteer. They weren't sought out for their gifts, they asked to be up there. Most of them are musically trained and alot of them are music teachers. They show up at the crack of dawn (ok, 8:30, but still, it's early) to set up and practice. Sure we are not perfect, no performer is. But we are not there to be perfect, Jesus is the only one who can do that. We are there to lead the congregation in praise and worship, to bring ourselves as close to Him as we can.
Each church is full of volunteers and not all of them are working in their gifted area. I know nursery workers who aren't good with babies, Sunday school teachers who can't teach, parking attendants that can't even drive yet, and ushers who aren't always smiley. But guess what? They are there with a positive attitude and a willingness to serve. They are there with a heart full of love for their Lord. I also know people who are gifted in several areas and move around the church volunteering in different positions from year to year. I am a pretty good Sunday school teacher but I am not currently teaching. I wanted to hold babies, and guess what, I am pretty good at that too. I would also like to be a greeter someday because I am pretty smiley and I like to meet new people. I do NOT want to be a pastor, a sound tech, or a parking attendant. If the Lord put me in those positions, I would do them happily, but probably not very well. The Bible says, Whatever we do, do it for the glory of God. It doesn't say, whatever we do WELL, do it for the glory of God.
What do you think? Should only "good" singers sing on stage? Should people try out different things even if they aren't good at it? Can we serve the Lord with humility even if we know we are good at something? Tell me your thoughts.
*edit*
I just wanted to be clear that I think each church has the responsibility to put people where they are the most talented in the church and to be doing their utmost to make the service peaceful and beautiful. Singers should be singing, teachers teaching, guardians guarding, etc. I do think if you can or have the opportunity, to try serving in new ways at your church. I don't think any Joe Blow should be singing solos, I just don't feel that you have to have a degree in something to do it at church. I hope that's more clear : ) I do agree with my first 2 commenters and that's what prompted the "edit".
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Plans
How many of you have made a plan only to see it fall apart piece by piece? Or told everyone you possibly could of something you were planning only to have it not come to fruition? I do it all the time. I mean, all the time. I have big plans and then I either don't follow through or the plans change. Within the last year I was reading through James (my favorite Bible book) and I read a verse that stumped me for a sec. James 4:13-17 says, "Now listen you who say (he was talking to me), "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that." As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.""
I had never thought of making plans as bragging. Do I know what tomorrow brings? Absolutely not! How many times have I made plans to go somewhere, clean something, meet a friend, and not been able to do those things because of a situation that has come up? I wasn't even thinking about the Lord's will, only my own. I give no thought to God when I am making my plans, I don't think about what He wants to put in my day. I just selfishly fill my days with whatever I want to do. God gets his 10 minutes in the morning and the rest of the day is Mine, All Mine! Bwahahaha!
I know we modern day Christians try to fit in with the rest of the world as best we can because the rest of the world already thinks we're freaks. If we start speaking Christianese, we're just going to get more outcast. If we all start sentences with "If it's the Lord's will..." we are going to get some funny looks! Maybe we could find a way to change the way we speak so that it honors God and doesn't make us look weird. Unless looking weird is your thing... I like saying, "My plan, if God wills it, is... Or my plan is to..." I'm still working on it though, I forget sometimes.
Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I don't think the Lord wants us to stop making plans, He just wants us to include Him and make room for what He may plan. People ask me all the time why I have 6 kids. I tell them that I only planned 2 of them, the Lord planned the other 4. I may have had my "plans" but God knew what was going to be best for me.
How about you? What plans did you have that God changed? How was your attitude when the plans changed?
I had never thought of making plans as bragging. Do I know what tomorrow brings? Absolutely not! How many times have I made plans to go somewhere, clean something, meet a friend, and not been able to do those things because of a situation that has come up? I wasn't even thinking about the Lord's will, only my own. I give no thought to God when I am making my plans, I don't think about what He wants to put in my day. I just selfishly fill my days with whatever I want to do. God gets his 10 minutes in the morning and the rest of the day is Mine, All Mine! Bwahahaha!
I know we modern day Christians try to fit in with the rest of the world as best we can because the rest of the world already thinks we're freaks. If we start speaking Christianese, we're just going to get more outcast. If we all start sentences with "If it's the Lord's will..." we are going to get some funny looks! Maybe we could find a way to change the way we speak so that it honors God and doesn't make us look weird. Unless looking weird is your thing... I like saying, "My plan, if God wills it, is... Or my plan is to..." I'm still working on it though, I forget sometimes.
Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." I don't think the Lord wants us to stop making plans, He just wants us to include Him and make room for what He may plan. People ask me all the time why I have 6 kids. I tell them that I only planned 2 of them, the Lord planned the other 4. I may have had my "plans" but God knew what was going to be best for me.
How about you? What plans did you have that God changed? How was your attitude when the plans changed?
Monday, March 28, 2011
Alas fair youth, I knew you well...
Well folks, I am officially a grown up. No longer can I pretend I am young and fresh. I always wondered what I would feel like when It actually happened. What happened you ask? I found a gray hair. (I'll calmly sit and let you all pat me on the back and tell me it's okay while the song I'll Be There plays in the background) I did always wonder how I would react when I finally found one. Well, I had a freakout moment. I couldn't believe my eyes and I plucked it out and ran downstairs to show my husband who had very little pity. He assured me it wasn't a gray hair but I'm not buying it. I plucked a regular hair and you could clearly see the difference not only in color but in thickness. My gray hair is going to be thick! The next day I obsessively combed through my hair and found 2 more. I plucked one and left the other in as proof for all thouse doubters out there (cough cough Spouse).
I know the Bible talks about gray hair being a crown of wisdom or something but I am not wise enough to pull that off just yet. I am going to pick my battles but I am going to fight the Age Battle. I'm going to start by carefully picking the color I am going to start dyeing my hair. I'm currently a very subtle red and I like it but it's not a permanent dye. I may try a few more non-permanent colors before I make my decision. Suggestions are welcome.
I will be fighting aging but not in a weird way. I don't want to be one of those 40somethings with too much make up, a mini skirt, platform sandals, and too much jewelry. I don't want to compete with my teenagers. As my friend says, "Teenagers win every time" and it is so true. There are limits to the Age Battle. I want to look my age but in a beautiful way. I don't want to be in my mid 30's with gray hair, I'm just not ready.
I recently tried buying an over the counter "wrinkle reducer" by a reputable company. I went on their website and they happily told me that if I just bought these 15 daily use products my face would look glowy and youthful. I bought the 3 basics and figured I would give it a try. Wellllll, it took the top layer of my skin off and left me feeling like a dragon and looking sunburned for several days. I gave that battle up after less than a week!
What makes me feel the most young is that I feel young. Inside, I feel happy and bubbly and silly and it just flows out of me. My husband is infatuated with me and who wouldn't want to see that look coming at ya every chance you could? Seeing the look in his eyes makes me feel like a teenager all over again. When I'm at college, people look surprised when I say I have 6 kids and my oldest is 15; they think I'm only 20. I like looking young but not at the expense of my health. I'll start with dyeing my hair and see where that takes me : )
I know several women who aren't fighting the battle at all and more power to them. I also know some people who are fighting to the death. How about you? What "age" moment caught you off guard? What are you doing to fight, if anything? What hair color should I start with?
I know the Bible talks about gray hair being a crown of wisdom or something but I am not wise enough to pull that off just yet. I am going to pick my battles but I am going to fight the Age Battle. I'm going to start by carefully picking the color I am going to start dyeing my hair. I'm currently a very subtle red and I like it but it's not a permanent dye. I may try a few more non-permanent colors before I make my decision. Suggestions are welcome.
I will be fighting aging but not in a weird way. I don't want to be one of those 40somethings with too much make up, a mini skirt, platform sandals, and too much jewelry. I don't want to compete with my teenagers. As my friend says, "Teenagers win every time" and it is so true. There are limits to the Age Battle. I want to look my age but in a beautiful way. I don't want to be in my mid 30's with gray hair, I'm just not ready.
I recently tried buying an over the counter "wrinkle reducer" by a reputable company. I went on their website and they happily told me that if I just bought these 15 daily use products my face would look glowy and youthful. I bought the 3 basics and figured I would give it a try. Wellllll, it took the top layer of my skin off and left me feeling like a dragon and looking sunburned for several days. I gave that battle up after less than a week!
What makes me feel the most young is that I feel young. Inside, I feel happy and bubbly and silly and it just flows out of me. My husband is infatuated with me and who wouldn't want to see that look coming at ya every chance you could? Seeing the look in his eyes makes me feel like a teenager all over again. When I'm at college, people look surprised when I say I have 6 kids and my oldest is 15; they think I'm only 20. I like looking young but not at the expense of my health. I'll start with dyeing my hair and see where that takes me : )
I know several women who aren't fighting the battle at all and more power to them. I also know some people who are fighting to the death. How about you? What "age" moment caught you off guard? What are you doing to fight, if anything? What hair color should I start with?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Torn...Decision making time
Ever had a decision you had to make and didn't want to? You could see both sides and didn't really like either one? I am in that place today so ya'll get to see how my mind works in decision making time.
For 3 years I was a girl scout leader in my area. I loved it! The girls were so creative and sweet and we did lots of activities. Then I started going to college part time and felt that I needed to step down but there was nobody to take my place. So, I kept leading but didn't do as good of a job because I was too busy. I started asking other people to take my place, other moms in my troops or other leaders in the area. I found one lady who would take the brownies but sadly, she died in a car accident. Another lady took my cadettes but nobody else stepped up. I had to step down because I was going to be schooling full time in the fall and I knew I wouldn't be any good to the girls.
During one of the final leaders meetings, the head lady asked if anyone would be a delegate for our council to go to the thrice yearly meetings in the city and report back to our council. Nobody stepped up. Shocker! Anyway, I felt guilty that I was stepping down and leaving a gap and that nobody else was stepping up so I raised my hand. Sigh. I have a hard time saying no sometimes.
Well, that was a stupid decision on my part and now I am stuck. The 2nd meeting is tonight and I don't want to go. I already had to bail on the first meeting because it was during an exceptionally busy time and now I am faced with The Decision. I do not want to be a delegate. There, I said it! I am not involved with girl scouts at all; I have no idea what is going on! I am no help to our council and I will most likely not pay attention even if I do go to this meeting. My husband was a little pissed that I was even a delegate, apparently I had forgotten to mention it to him. He says I should back out of the whole position but I feel bad about it. I already told one lady I would carpool with her and I hate to back out the day of the meeting. Sigh. Decision making time. Should I honor my husband and back out? Or should I follow thru with my obligation and go to the meeting? I am torn.
I think I know what I am going to do, but I want to think on it a little more.
Have you ever had a tough decision to make? One that was in a gray area, you know, something not cut and dried, not black and white? Tell me about it.
For 3 years I was a girl scout leader in my area. I loved it! The girls were so creative and sweet and we did lots of activities. Then I started going to college part time and felt that I needed to step down but there was nobody to take my place. So, I kept leading but didn't do as good of a job because I was too busy. I started asking other people to take my place, other moms in my troops or other leaders in the area. I found one lady who would take the brownies but sadly, she died in a car accident. Another lady took my cadettes but nobody else stepped up. I had to step down because I was going to be schooling full time in the fall and I knew I wouldn't be any good to the girls.
During one of the final leaders meetings, the head lady asked if anyone would be a delegate for our council to go to the thrice yearly meetings in the city and report back to our council. Nobody stepped up. Shocker! Anyway, I felt guilty that I was stepping down and leaving a gap and that nobody else was stepping up so I raised my hand. Sigh. I have a hard time saying no sometimes.
Well, that was a stupid decision on my part and now I am stuck. The 2nd meeting is tonight and I don't want to go. I already had to bail on the first meeting because it was during an exceptionally busy time and now I am faced with The Decision. I do not want to be a delegate. There, I said it! I am not involved with girl scouts at all; I have no idea what is going on! I am no help to our council and I will most likely not pay attention even if I do go to this meeting. My husband was a little pissed that I was even a delegate, apparently I had forgotten to mention it to him. He says I should back out of the whole position but I feel bad about it. I already told one lady I would carpool with her and I hate to back out the day of the meeting. Sigh. Decision making time. Should I honor my husband and back out? Or should I follow thru with my obligation and go to the meeting? I am torn.
I think I know what I am going to do, but I want to think on it a little more.
Have you ever had a tough decision to make? One that was in a gray area, you know, something not cut and dried, not black and white? Tell me about it.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Disappointment
I had this whole thing written out in my head and I went to write it and saw the title to the last blog, "I feel great!" Oh the irony...
Have you ever been disappointed? Do you remember how it felt? Your numbers didn't win the $180 million lottery, dang it! You might feel upset but you kind of knew that was going to happen. Or you study really hard for a test only to get a D. You are going to be disappointed in yourself maybe or the teacher, but it's more of a sadness (at least to me) than anything else. Maybe you get to Panera for your once a year Turkey Artichoke Panini only to find out they are out of panini bread. Disbelief may override disappointment, at least it did in my case. I just stood there looking at the lady waiting for her to say, " Just kidding, of course we have panini bread!". She didn't. I had to order something else. I was disappointed but I got over it pretty quickly and learned to get to Panera before 8:55pm. Of you forget to turn the dryer on and it just goes on for it's 60 minutes and then buzzes and you run in to get the jeans you threw in there so you could wear them to the mall only to find them still sitting in a wet lump. Disapointment and maybe anger, you might throw something or slam the dryer door shut and hit the on button so hard you hurt your palm. Maybe you dropped one of your favorite dishes, the ones that are discontinued and can only be found in thrift stores. You get the point, disappointment hurts and usually is combined with some other emotion like anger or disbelief. But...
Nothing compares to the anguish you feel when one of your children disappoints you. I'm not talking about when your 3 year old pees his pants. I'm talking about when one of your older "responsible" children loses his/her mind and does something that just leaves you speechless. Your heart feels like it's being ripped out of your chest and stomped on with cleats. No words come out of your mouth, you just look at that child and wonder what happened to that cute little baby. We blame ourselves at first, what horrible parenting we have done to bring our children to this point. What have I been doing or not doing to put my kid in this predicament? And then reality sets in. We have done a good job. We have taught them right and wrong and how to organize and be responsible. We've taught them to tell the truth and to trust us. But they have to make their own decisions and sometimes those decisions are horrible. Sometimes they let peer pressure have more of an influence than the gospel. Sometimes they think we're just dummies and want to show us how smart they are. I know that's what I thought when I disobeyed my parents. They don't know what I am feeling, they don't understand so I will just do what I think is best. Ouch. How stupid was I? Apparently as stupid as kids today who are thinking the same things.
When my kids disappoint me, and the older they get, the more frequent it is happening, I have to remember to not say much. Matthew 12:34 says, "for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks". If my stomped up disappointed heart is full of disappointment, that is going to flow out of my mouth. I usually bring the child's issue up and then send them away so I can pray and think and discuss with my spouse. I tend to act quickly and have lots of regrets. I'm trying to change that, trying to think first and then speak and apologize less.
I have to say, I am tired of being disappointed but I know that it is only just beginning. When parents of older children say, "Ohh, I wish my kids were still little" I know why. The teen years are so hard. I love my teens and tweens and kiddos and toddlers and I know I will make it through. I just have to treasure each happy moment and try to have as many of those as possible.
When have you been disappointed? How did you feel? How did you deal with it?
Have you ever been disappointed? Do you remember how it felt? Your numbers didn't win the $180 million lottery, dang it! You might feel upset but you kind of knew that was going to happen. Or you study really hard for a test only to get a D. You are going to be disappointed in yourself maybe or the teacher, but it's more of a sadness (at least to me) than anything else. Maybe you get to Panera for your once a year Turkey Artichoke Panini only to find out they are out of panini bread. Disbelief may override disappointment, at least it did in my case. I just stood there looking at the lady waiting for her to say, " Just kidding, of course we have panini bread!". She didn't. I had to order something else. I was disappointed but I got over it pretty quickly and learned to get to Panera before 8:55pm. Of you forget to turn the dryer on and it just goes on for it's 60 minutes and then buzzes and you run in to get the jeans you threw in there so you could wear them to the mall only to find them still sitting in a wet lump. Disapointment and maybe anger, you might throw something or slam the dryer door shut and hit the on button so hard you hurt your palm. Maybe you dropped one of your favorite dishes, the ones that are discontinued and can only be found in thrift stores. You get the point, disappointment hurts and usually is combined with some other emotion like anger or disbelief. But...
Nothing compares to the anguish you feel when one of your children disappoints you. I'm not talking about when your 3 year old pees his pants. I'm talking about when one of your older "responsible" children loses his/her mind and does something that just leaves you speechless. Your heart feels like it's being ripped out of your chest and stomped on with cleats. No words come out of your mouth, you just look at that child and wonder what happened to that cute little baby. We blame ourselves at first, what horrible parenting we have done to bring our children to this point. What have I been doing or not doing to put my kid in this predicament? And then reality sets in. We have done a good job. We have taught them right and wrong and how to organize and be responsible. We've taught them to tell the truth and to trust us. But they have to make their own decisions and sometimes those decisions are horrible. Sometimes they let peer pressure have more of an influence than the gospel. Sometimes they think we're just dummies and want to show us how smart they are. I know that's what I thought when I disobeyed my parents. They don't know what I am feeling, they don't understand so I will just do what I think is best. Ouch. How stupid was I? Apparently as stupid as kids today who are thinking the same things.
When my kids disappoint me, and the older they get, the more frequent it is happening, I have to remember to not say much. Matthew 12:34 says, "for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks". If my stomped up disappointed heart is full of disappointment, that is going to flow out of my mouth. I usually bring the child's issue up and then send them away so I can pray and think and discuss with my spouse. I tend to act quickly and have lots of regrets. I'm trying to change that, trying to think first and then speak and apologize less.
I have to say, I am tired of being disappointed but I know that it is only just beginning. When parents of older children say, "Ohh, I wish my kids were still little" I know why. The teen years are so hard. I love my teens and tweens and kiddos and toddlers and I know I will make it through. I just have to treasure each happy moment and try to have as many of those as possible.
When have you been disappointed? How did you feel? How did you deal with it?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I feel great!
I have a pair of boots that make me feel fantastic. I wear them with a skirt (because my giant calves don't allow for jeanage wear) and I feel so fancy even with just a denim skirt and black top. They are black leather and have a zipper and buckle that jingle and they come to just below my knee. I love them. Now I know why my little girls always want to wear boots, even snowboots. They just make me feel powerful and funky and a little crazy. I want to do a runway walk when I see a long stretch of floor. I actually did just that in the store while trying them on. They were not expensive and really aren't fancy or anything, but boy do I feel great in them. My husband likes them too, especially with the skirt. What it is about certain items that just make us feel more powerful or pretty? I have even found that when I wear the boots, I stand straighter and feel more confident. When I wear my converse, I slouch a little and take on the persona of a grungy youth. The converse make me want to wear a hoodie and jeans. The boots make me want to take on the world! How crazy is that?
Do you have an item in your wardrobe that makes you feel like Xena Warrior Princess or GIJoe? Something that makes you feel special and causes you to exude confidence? A jewelry item or shirt or maybe even the clothes you wore to prom or the suit you wore to your first interview. Tell me what makes you feel confident and wonderful!
Do you have an item in your wardrobe that makes you feel like Xena Warrior Princess or GIJoe? Something that makes you feel special and causes you to exude confidence? A jewelry item or shirt or maybe even the clothes you wore to prom or the suit you wore to your first interview. Tell me what makes you feel confident and wonderful!
Monday, February 28, 2011
My (a poem)
My feet.
My feet are surrounded by dirty laundry, pet hair, and school papers.
My feet are in my shoes, ready to go to the next activity.
My feet are sore from being used all day.
My body.
My body is surrounded by little bodies ready for a hug.
My body is desiring my husband.
My body is hungry and tired.
My hands.
My hands hold pens ready to sign the next permission slip.
My hands hold my keys, ready to leave or come home.
My hands type, type, type.
My head.
My head is filled with homework.
My head is already thinking ahead to what I need to do next.
My head is putting dinner on the table and listening for the disobedient child.
My heart.
My heart holds the hands of my children.
My heart holds the face of my husband.
My heart yearns to burst with all that I feel.
But my eyes.
My eyes hold steady to the One who will pull me through.
My eyes look to Him who holds my hand and gives me strength.
My eyes look into His and I am at peace.
My feet are surrounded by dirty laundry, pet hair, and school papers.
My feet are in my shoes, ready to go to the next activity.
My feet are sore from being used all day.
My body.
My body is surrounded by little bodies ready for a hug.
My body is desiring my husband.
My body is hungry and tired.
My hands.
My hands hold pens ready to sign the next permission slip.
My hands hold my keys, ready to leave or come home.
My hands type, type, type.
My head.
My head is filled with homework.
My head is already thinking ahead to what I need to do next.
My head is putting dinner on the table and listening for the disobedient child.
My heart.
My heart holds the hands of my children.
My heart holds the face of my husband.
My heart yearns to burst with all that I feel.
But my eyes.
My eyes hold steady to the One who will pull me through.
My eyes look to Him who holds my hand and gives me strength.
My eyes look into His and I am at peace.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
You look fancy mommy!
I'm having a reflection moment and I would like to share it with ya'll. Today at our homeschool co-op, we had "Clash Day". We dressed up in our tackiest, clashiest clothes and tried to outdo each other. I took this as a competition and had a blast getting dressed this morning. I wish I had a pic to add, someone took one, if she sends it, I'll add it later. Anyway, I put on 2 dressy items and a mishmash of other things and I looked a real mess : ) My 4 year old said, "Mom, you look so fancy!" Her perception of mommy was that because I had on a skirt and shiny shirt and a necklace that I was fancy. My 9 year old looked me up and down and said, "Mom, did you know you had 2 different earrings in?" I guess she thought I was just being careless by not wearing the same earrings, she apparently hadn't noticed the fall colors bejeweled "fancy" shirt and the black and white flowered skirt I was sporting. My son on the other hand thought I had lost my mind. He actually dropped his jaw and I had to explain it was school spirit day for co-op.
I arrived at co-op and had fun laughing with my friends because we all just looked so silly. But, you know what I heard over and over?? "LaShelle, I just can't take you seriously in that outfit!" Now friends, I took absolutely no offense at this, please don't worry. But it did get me thinking about how our clothes really do make an impression on people's perception of who we are. My friends know me and they had trouble listening to "serious" talk from me today because of my mixmatched clothes. How much more would the general public have perceived me? What would have happened if I had stopped at Food Lion on the way home? Would people have thought I was crazy or just a HUGE Cyndi Lauper fan? I know I have talked about clothes before and my pet peeves but this is different. First impressions are forever and our clothes are such a huge part of that impression. They shouldn't be, but they are. I am not a very good dresser, I try, but I often fail. I prefer converse tennis shoes, jeans, and a zip up sweatshirt to age-appropriate clothes. Eventually, I will start having to wear nicer things all the time because I am attempting to build a career as a classically trained soprano. I wouldn't want to run into a choir director or conductor in my chucks and jeans because in all seriousness, they may not take me "seriously" as a singer. I know there are tons of people out there who don't care what people are wearing and I commend those people with a big high five. *slap*
I'm going to tell one brief story about an unnamed person but hopefully it will make an impact on your own life. I had a friend who wouldn't go to church, no matter how many times he said he would. Eventually, his young daughter convinced him to go so he decided to come in with a bang. He wore his Harley Davidson shirt, ripped blue jeans, huge shiny belt buckle. Probably had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He walked in the door probably hoping they would chuck him right back on the street. Instead, the pastor came running to meet him, hugged him, and told him he had been waiting for him to come. That was more than 30 years ago and that man has been a Christian ever since. What might have happened to that man if the pastor had made his impression based only on his first sight? What if he had passed judgement and treated the man like a roach? Who knows.
I guess what I'm saying here is that society has deemed some people more "acceptable" than others based on what they wear. Anyone who went to a public high school can tall you that. We can make a difference in just one person's life by accepting who they are, by not judging them by what they wear but by what's inside. I know we all have our pet peeves on what is acceptable to wear in public and that probably won't change, but don't judge someone or lose respect for them because of their apparel choices. Who knows what others are thinking about you.
Have you ever been in a situation when you were judged by your appearance? Or if you judged someone based on their look?
I arrived at co-op and had fun laughing with my friends because we all just looked so silly. But, you know what I heard over and over?? "LaShelle, I just can't take you seriously in that outfit!" Now friends, I took absolutely no offense at this, please don't worry. But it did get me thinking about how our clothes really do make an impression on people's perception of who we are. My friends know me and they had trouble listening to "serious" talk from me today because of my mixmatched clothes. How much more would the general public have perceived me? What would have happened if I had stopped at Food Lion on the way home? Would people have thought I was crazy or just a HUGE Cyndi Lauper fan? I know I have talked about clothes before and my pet peeves but this is different. First impressions are forever and our clothes are such a huge part of that impression. They shouldn't be, but they are. I am not a very good dresser, I try, but I often fail. I prefer converse tennis shoes, jeans, and a zip up sweatshirt to age-appropriate clothes. Eventually, I will start having to wear nicer things all the time because I am attempting to build a career as a classically trained soprano. I wouldn't want to run into a choir director or conductor in my chucks and jeans because in all seriousness, they may not take me "seriously" as a singer. I know there are tons of people out there who don't care what people are wearing and I commend those people with a big high five. *slap*
I'm going to tell one brief story about an unnamed person but hopefully it will make an impact on your own life. I had a friend who wouldn't go to church, no matter how many times he said he would. Eventually, his young daughter convinced him to go so he decided to come in with a bang. He wore his Harley Davidson shirt, ripped blue jeans, huge shiny belt buckle. Probably had a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. He walked in the door probably hoping they would chuck him right back on the street. Instead, the pastor came running to meet him, hugged him, and told him he had been waiting for him to come. That was more than 30 years ago and that man has been a Christian ever since. What might have happened to that man if the pastor had made his impression based only on his first sight? What if he had passed judgement and treated the man like a roach? Who knows.
I guess what I'm saying here is that society has deemed some people more "acceptable" than others based on what they wear. Anyone who went to a public high school can tall you that. We can make a difference in just one person's life by accepting who they are, by not judging them by what they wear but by what's inside. I know we all have our pet peeves on what is acceptable to wear in public and that probably won't change, but don't judge someone or lose respect for them because of their apparel choices. Who knows what others are thinking about you.
Have you ever been in a situation when you were judged by your appearance? Or if you judged someone based on their look?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Remember When and I Wonder If
Remember when we didn't have youtube, playlist, and itunes? We had to sit by our tape recorders with a blank tape ready to go and as soon as our favorite song came on the radio we had to hurry up and hit record so we wouldn't miss any of it. We never knew the first few beats or the last few beats of any song from using this method.
Remember when we didn't buy the tapes so we didn't have the lyrics so we would sit there listening, rewinding, writing, listening, rewinding, writing until we had the whole thing down on a piece of paper just so we could sing along at the tops of our lungs to our favorite songs?
Remember when we didn't have email and we had to actually write our friends and family? On paper. With a pen or pencil. And then mail it, in an envelope, with a stamp. Who had a penpal?? I did, her name was Michelle and she took dance lessons.
Remember when we had to write a research paper? I said write, not type. We had to use pen and write it out and if we messed up we had to trash the whole piece of paper and start over. The time to do research was nothing on actually writing the darn thing out. And we couldn't use white-out on the final copy, that just looked messy. And if you were lucky enough to have a typewrite, that took just as long cuz none of us knew how to type.
Remember when we only had a couple of channels and we liked what was on because we were only allowed to watch it for a little while each day? I think we had 5 channels when I was a kid and cartoons only came on on Saturdays. The rest of the week I had to settle for People's Court, America's Funniest Home Videos, Mork and Mindy, and V. I remember when Nickelodeon came out and I was hooked on Double Dare because they got covered in slime.
Remember when we would tape things with our VCR's right off of tv? If we got up to get a drink or something and weren't back to hit record again, we would be so mad because we would have missed something on the tape. Then we would watch those tapes over and over until the tape warped and the tracking went out.
Remember when we didn't have ipods or mp3 players but we had walkmans? I remember when the CD walkmans came out and I couldn't wait to get one! I mean, I had 3 whole CD's to play on it. I would get in the car with that thing and then miss all the songs because every tiny bump in the road would cause it to skip like crazy.
I wonder if our grandchildren will ever get lost? Will GPS systems be automatically installed into everything they will ever own? I remember traveling to MI with my sister and cousin and pulling out the state maps with my dad. We tracked our route, wrote it down, figured out the mileage and time, and set off. No mapquest, no GPS system, we were on our own with just the map and the road.
I wonder if our grandchildren will know the feel of a good book in their hands? Will Kindles and Ebooks and Emags and e-everything else take over paper books someday.
I wonder if the internet will eventually take over the need to actually leave the house? You can grocery shop, bank, work from home, communicate with friends, and mail packages all from the comfort of your own home using the internet.
I wonder if I will become famous because of this blog? Will millions of people read this someday? Or will I stick to just tens of people?
Remember when we didn't buy the tapes so we didn't have the lyrics so we would sit there listening, rewinding, writing, listening, rewinding, writing until we had the whole thing down on a piece of paper just so we could sing along at the tops of our lungs to our favorite songs?
Remember when we didn't have email and we had to actually write our friends and family? On paper. With a pen or pencil. And then mail it, in an envelope, with a stamp. Who had a penpal?? I did, her name was Michelle and she took dance lessons.
Remember when we had to write a research paper? I said write, not type. We had to use pen and write it out and if we messed up we had to trash the whole piece of paper and start over. The time to do research was nothing on actually writing the darn thing out. And we couldn't use white-out on the final copy, that just looked messy. And if you were lucky enough to have a typewrite, that took just as long cuz none of us knew how to type.
Remember when we only had a couple of channels and we liked what was on because we were only allowed to watch it for a little while each day? I think we had 5 channels when I was a kid and cartoons only came on on Saturdays. The rest of the week I had to settle for People's Court, America's Funniest Home Videos, Mork and Mindy, and V. I remember when Nickelodeon came out and I was hooked on Double Dare because they got covered in slime.
Remember when we would tape things with our VCR's right off of tv? If we got up to get a drink or something and weren't back to hit record again, we would be so mad because we would have missed something on the tape. Then we would watch those tapes over and over until the tape warped and the tracking went out.
Remember when we didn't have ipods or mp3 players but we had walkmans? I remember when the CD walkmans came out and I couldn't wait to get one! I mean, I had 3 whole CD's to play on it. I would get in the car with that thing and then miss all the songs because every tiny bump in the road would cause it to skip like crazy.
I wonder if our grandchildren will ever get lost? Will GPS systems be automatically installed into everything they will ever own? I remember traveling to MI with my sister and cousin and pulling out the state maps with my dad. We tracked our route, wrote it down, figured out the mileage and time, and set off. No mapquest, no GPS system, we were on our own with just the map and the road.
I wonder if our grandchildren will know the feel of a good book in their hands? Will Kindles and Ebooks and Emags and e-everything else take over paper books someday.
I wonder if the internet will eventually take over the need to actually leave the house? You can grocery shop, bank, work from home, communicate with friends, and mail packages all from the comfort of your own home using the internet.
I wonder if I will become famous because of this blog? Will millions of people read this someday? Or will I stick to just tens of people?
Monday, February 21, 2011
Marriage
Before any of you say anything, I am not a marriage expert and I will never be a marriage expert. I have gleaned information throughout my 15 years of marriage that I would like to share here.
Submissive Wives
I'm going to start with wives cuz I'm one and I've had the most experience as a wife : ) Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord" I hear over and over from women how they aren't going to submit to any man. They are free, independent women unwilling to even think of submission. I am a free, independent woman as well yet I submit to my husband as I do the Lord. In my marriage, just as in Christ, I have free will and the freedom to make my own decisions. I have been given the freedom to run my house and children as I see fit. My husband is released from figuring out what is for dinner, what outfits the kids are going to wear, buying the kids underclothes, etc. That is my job and I don't need to bother my husband with those things. Just as with God, I can pick out my own clothes, eat what I want for breakfast, and decide whether I want to pledge my allegiance to Target or Walmart. Marriage doesn't mean giving up all your freedom, it just means that we get to share big decision making with our spouses, just as we would with Christ. We wouldn't decide to do something big like buy a car, a house, move, change jobs, etc without first consulting the Lord through prayer. Why can't we see marriage as the same way? Everyday decisions are our own; big decisions that affect the whole family need to be discussed. I will also say that knowing that my husband is responsible for the big decisions is comforting and releasing. Try submitting in that way if you aren't now. See if it makes for more happiness on your part and your spouse's. When my husband makes a decision, even if it is against what I would decide, it makes me feel good that usually he has made his decision based on my welfare. He wants me to be safe and happy and that makes me feel all tingly inside.
Loving Husbands
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church" Just as the Bible commands women to submit to their husbands, it commands men to Love their wives. Yes, Love starts with a capital L. Love that woman just as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for it. He gave His life so He could present us to His father in heaven. The rest of that verse says, "Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" Are you men presenting your wives as radiant? When she looks at you, is it with radiance and respect? If so, good job, you get a gold star. If not, you might want to look inside yourselves and see what is going on. Are you loving her? Respecting all the work she does for you? Or are you a dictator, lording over your household like a general? Are you giving her the freedom she needs to be the best she can be for you and for the Lord? Or are you creating a household that resonates fear and bitterness? If you sweetly love, everyday, you will win yourself one wonderful woman. The Lord doesn't come busting in our lives demanding respect and dinner, what gives you the right to do that? He comes on like a breeze or a wave, slowly loving us until all we want is Him. Husbands, use Christ's example as your jumping off point in your marriages.
Differences
What works in my marriage may not work in yours. My husband and I have had several talks over the years about what we each expect of ourselves and each other. Sometimes, that needs to change, especially if we have another child or if he gets a second job. I do the majority of the housework and he makes the money. He works a labor intensive job for both of his jobs so when he gets home, he gets to sit down. The children pick up a large part of the daily chores. I manage the house and the bills and he manages his 2 jobs. That works for us. A friend of mine and her husband both work full time jobs and they split the housework equally. He does the laundry and she cooks. He gets the kids from school and she manages bedtime. That works for them, they are both happy with that decision. If you are unhappy with how the "work" in your home and marriage is split, talk with your spouse. See if you can come up with a compromise. Don't forget to take into consideration energy levels, sleep needs, job hours, and the age of your children. Husbands, don't overwhelm your wives with a ton of extra work, especially if you have small children. Taking care of kids is exhausting work, especially if you have high needs kids or a lot of small ones. Wives, remember that your husband has been looking forward to coming home all day so make it a happy place to be.
Couples time
Always make sure to find time to be a couple. Let me repeat that, ALWAYS find time to be a couple. When we had 5 kids ages 6 and under, finding couple time was really hard. We put our kids to bed very early (7:30) and trained our kids to sleep in their own cribs/beds and stay there. They were not to get out of bed unless they had to pee or it was an emergency. We needed that time to just talk and watch tv and enjoy each other without kids climbing on us or demanding our attention. As our kids have gotten older, we have found other ways. We like to take weekend getaways or trips together. We have date nights. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we get a movie and go to our room and lock the door. Couple time is of ultimate importance in a marriage. You don't want to focus on your kids and jobs so much that you look up one day and see a stranger. Don't think that when the kids move out, you will suddenly reconnect and live happily ever after. You have to build on that relationship all the time and it is time consuming and hard but sooooo worth it.
Alone time
If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know about alone time already but I'll rehash it here briefly. Alone time is so important. My husband plays soccer on a rec league to get out and be his own self and I like to eat out with my friends. Sometimes I go in my room and read a book or get a movie I want to watch. My spouse goes on weekend soccer tournaments or plays poker online. We love to do things together but we need to make sure we don't lose who we are. I need time to just be LaShelle, to be called LaShelle and not mommy or wife (he calls me boo) and he needs the same. Some people need alone time more than others but make sure you are continuing to grow your own personality as you grow together with your spouse. Otherwise you are going to look up one day from your busy life and realize you don't even know who you are anymore. You may even do something drastic to find out where you went, like dye your hair a funny color and buy a convertible. Honestly, how does that possibly help? I mean, you are going to be just as old and lost in that car as you were in your minivan.
Communication
Communication is key to a marriage. Talking face to face is probably one of the most important but there are other ways. Text, email, write letters, call, give googly eyes across the table (kids especially love this one), and more. My husband and I call each other about every 2 hours throughout the day and when we get in bed, we talk for awhile before going to sleep. We can catch up on each others days and learn funny things that happened. When we are upset with each other we know right away because we talk so much. He can even tell if I am calling to say hi or calling because there is a problem or a question just by how I say hello. We get along great and can tell what the other is thinking because we have built up a communication base over our many years of marriage. Our kids love it when we just look at each other across the table and have a "conversation" without saying anything. We love to torture them with that by the way, try it, it's fun. If you don't have good communication in your marriage, start working on it. Don't wait for your spouse, take the initiative. You never know what good will happen if you just start talking.
I could keep going but I'll stop here. At least 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. I would much rather be part of the still married half of that percentage. When it comes to marriage, always keep your eyes 20 years ahead. What you do today will affect your life 20 years from now. If you work on your marriage daily, you will hopefully have a happy one later. If you are unhappy with how things are going now, change them. If your husband isn't the talkative type, find other ways to communicate. If your wife is unhappy and standoffish, love her gently until she comes around. Find ways to make each other happy because ultimately, when your spouse is happy, you are happy. Bringing my husband happiness gives me so much joy. You wouldn't think so because we humans are such selfish beings but try it. Do something nice. He or she may not notice right away, but they will eventually.
Ok, I'll stop here because it is "couples time" at our house. It's been a busy day and I am looking forward to hearing about his day and discussing what's going on tomorrow. Talk atcha later peeps. Oh, I almost forgot, what marriage tips do you have? What marriage problems have you overcome or would like to?
Submissive Wives
I'm going to start with wives cuz I'm one and I've had the most experience as a wife : ) Ephesians 5:22 says, "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord" I hear over and over from women how they aren't going to submit to any man. They are free, independent women unwilling to even think of submission. I am a free, independent woman as well yet I submit to my husband as I do the Lord. In my marriage, just as in Christ, I have free will and the freedom to make my own decisions. I have been given the freedom to run my house and children as I see fit. My husband is released from figuring out what is for dinner, what outfits the kids are going to wear, buying the kids underclothes, etc. That is my job and I don't need to bother my husband with those things. Just as with God, I can pick out my own clothes, eat what I want for breakfast, and decide whether I want to pledge my allegiance to Target or Walmart. Marriage doesn't mean giving up all your freedom, it just means that we get to share big decision making with our spouses, just as we would with Christ. We wouldn't decide to do something big like buy a car, a house, move, change jobs, etc without first consulting the Lord through prayer. Why can't we see marriage as the same way? Everyday decisions are our own; big decisions that affect the whole family need to be discussed. I will also say that knowing that my husband is responsible for the big decisions is comforting and releasing. Try submitting in that way if you aren't now. See if it makes for more happiness on your part and your spouse's. When my husband makes a decision, even if it is against what I would decide, it makes me feel good that usually he has made his decision based on my welfare. He wants me to be safe and happy and that makes me feel all tingly inside.
Loving Husbands
Ephesians 5:25 says, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church" Just as the Bible commands women to submit to their husbands, it commands men to Love their wives. Yes, Love starts with a capital L. Love that woman just as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church? He died for it. He gave His life so He could present us to His father in heaven. The rest of that verse says, "Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless" Are you men presenting your wives as radiant? When she looks at you, is it with radiance and respect? If so, good job, you get a gold star. If not, you might want to look inside yourselves and see what is going on. Are you loving her? Respecting all the work she does for you? Or are you a dictator, lording over your household like a general? Are you giving her the freedom she needs to be the best she can be for you and for the Lord? Or are you creating a household that resonates fear and bitterness? If you sweetly love, everyday, you will win yourself one wonderful woman. The Lord doesn't come busting in our lives demanding respect and dinner, what gives you the right to do that? He comes on like a breeze or a wave, slowly loving us until all we want is Him. Husbands, use Christ's example as your jumping off point in your marriages.
Differences
What works in my marriage may not work in yours. My husband and I have had several talks over the years about what we each expect of ourselves and each other. Sometimes, that needs to change, especially if we have another child or if he gets a second job. I do the majority of the housework and he makes the money. He works a labor intensive job for both of his jobs so when he gets home, he gets to sit down. The children pick up a large part of the daily chores. I manage the house and the bills and he manages his 2 jobs. That works for us. A friend of mine and her husband both work full time jobs and they split the housework equally. He does the laundry and she cooks. He gets the kids from school and she manages bedtime. That works for them, they are both happy with that decision. If you are unhappy with how the "work" in your home and marriage is split, talk with your spouse. See if you can come up with a compromise. Don't forget to take into consideration energy levels, sleep needs, job hours, and the age of your children. Husbands, don't overwhelm your wives with a ton of extra work, especially if you have small children. Taking care of kids is exhausting work, especially if you have high needs kids or a lot of small ones. Wives, remember that your husband has been looking forward to coming home all day so make it a happy place to be.
Couples time
Always make sure to find time to be a couple. Let me repeat that, ALWAYS find time to be a couple. When we had 5 kids ages 6 and under, finding couple time was really hard. We put our kids to bed very early (7:30) and trained our kids to sleep in their own cribs/beds and stay there. They were not to get out of bed unless they had to pee or it was an emergency. We needed that time to just talk and watch tv and enjoy each other without kids climbing on us or demanding our attention. As our kids have gotten older, we have found other ways. We like to take weekend getaways or trips together. We have date nights. Sometimes we go out, sometimes we get a movie and go to our room and lock the door. Couple time is of ultimate importance in a marriage. You don't want to focus on your kids and jobs so much that you look up one day and see a stranger. Don't think that when the kids move out, you will suddenly reconnect and live happily ever after. You have to build on that relationship all the time and it is time consuming and hard but sooooo worth it.
Alone time
If you have been keeping up with my blog, you know about alone time already but I'll rehash it here briefly. Alone time is so important. My husband plays soccer on a rec league to get out and be his own self and I like to eat out with my friends. Sometimes I go in my room and read a book or get a movie I want to watch. My spouse goes on weekend soccer tournaments or plays poker online. We love to do things together but we need to make sure we don't lose who we are. I need time to just be LaShelle, to be called LaShelle and not mommy or wife (he calls me boo) and he needs the same. Some people need alone time more than others but make sure you are continuing to grow your own personality as you grow together with your spouse. Otherwise you are going to look up one day from your busy life and realize you don't even know who you are anymore. You may even do something drastic to find out where you went, like dye your hair a funny color and buy a convertible. Honestly, how does that possibly help? I mean, you are going to be just as old and lost in that car as you were in your minivan.
Communication
Communication is key to a marriage. Talking face to face is probably one of the most important but there are other ways. Text, email, write letters, call, give googly eyes across the table (kids especially love this one), and more. My husband and I call each other about every 2 hours throughout the day and when we get in bed, we talk for awhile before going to sleep. We can catch up on each others days and learn funny things that happened. When we are upset with each other we know right away because we talk so much. He can even tell if I am calling to say hi or calling because there is a problem or a question just by how I say hello. We get along great and can tell what the other is thinking because we have built up a communication base over our many years of marriage. Our kids love it when we just look at each other across the table and have a "conversation" without saying anything. We love to torture them with that by the way, try it, it's fun. If you don't have good communication in your marriage, start working on it. Don't wait for your spouse, take the initiative. You never know what good will happen if you just start talking.
I could keep going but I'll stop here. At least 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. I would much rather be part of the still married half of that percentage. When it comes to marriage, always keep your eyes 20 years ahead. What you do today will affect your life 20 years from now. If you work on your marriage daily, you will hopefully have a happy one later. If you are unhappy with how things are going now, change them. If your husband isn't the talkative type, find other ways to communicate. If your wife is unhappy and standoffish, love her gently until she comes around. Find ways to make each other happy because ultimately, when your spouse is happy, you are happy. Bringing my husband happiness gives me so much joy. You wouldn't think so because we humans are such selfish beings but try it. Do something nice. He or she may not notice right away, but they will eventually.
Ok, I'll stop here because it is "couples time" at our house. It's been a busy day and I am looking forward to hearing about his day and discussing what's going on tomorrow. Talk atcha later peeps. Oh, I almost forgot, what marriage tips do you have? What marriage problems have you overcome or would like to?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Sometimes
Sometimes I am a Democrat but most of the time I am a Republican. I can see the other side of an issue but it has to be pointed out to me.
Sometimes I am a free woman but most of the time I am a Mom. I can go somewhere alone and pretend I have no kids but they are always there, waiting for me. I can enjoy my moment alone but come home to what is comfortable and happy.
Sometimes I am a pop singer but most of the time I am an opera singer. I can go to karaoke and belt out Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory and get a great applause. But when I sing "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera, I really wow the crowd. I have a classical voice but I can have my in the car moment of pop singing glory.
Sometimes I am a racist but most of the time I'm not. I have my moments where a hateful thought enters my mind and I have to think it through. Sometimes I have to ask someone else's opinion or share my thought. Something ingrained is hard to get out quickly. But knowing I have love in my heart for all people helps me out.
Sometimes I am a teenager but most of the time I am a grown up. I have my silly moments where I want to act silly and fun and wear funky shoes. My friend reminds me that I will never "win" against a teen, they've got it covered just fine.
Sometimes I cry but most of the time I don't. I have my days where everything hits me in a sad cryey way but most of the time I can handle it without tears.
Sometimes I am a fighter but most of the time I'm a wimp. Really. I just talk big : ) Unless you mess with my husband or kids, then I'll kick your a**.
Sometimes I am a race car driver but mostly I'm a good driver. Sometimes I see those little tiny cars that just need to feel the power of my 15 passenger van engine.
Sometimes I'm cool but most of the time I'm a nerd. No, no, don't everyone try to dispute me at once. Just kidding. I know I'm a nerd and I don't care. I do treasure those cool moments though...
Sometimes I'm grumpy but most of the time I'm not. I admit, the stress gets to me from time to time but I try to keep it as happy as I can.
Sometimes I'm a loner but most of the time I'm a people person. I treasure my alone time but I really shine in a crowd of people I know. I just love to talk!
Sometimes we are one thing but most of the time we are ourselves. Sometimes we have a crazy moment and it can be good, like wearing a pair of pink and black converse high top tennis shoes. (oh yes people, I do own and wear that pair of shoes) Sometimes we have a crazy moment and we've done something that has hurt another person or ourselves. Do we pretend it didn't happen? Do we act like they were the one in the wrong? No. We apologize and move on. Sometimes we're unforgiving but most of the time we're happy to forgive.
What are your sometimes?
Sometimes I am a free woman but most of the time I am a Mom. I can go somewhere alone and pretend I have no kids but they are always there, waiting for me. I can enjoy my moment alone but come home to what is comfortable and happy.
Sometimes I am a pop singer but most of the time I am an opera singer. I can go to karaoke and belt out Bon Jovi's Blaze of Glory and get a great applause. But when I sing "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera, I really wow the crowd. I have a classical voice but I can have my in the car moment of pop singing glory.
Sometimes I am a racist but most of the time I'm not. I have my moments where a hateful thought enters my mind and I have to think it through. Sometimes I have to ask someone else's opinion or share my thought. Something ingrained is hard to get out quickly. But knowing I have love in my heart for all people helps me out.
Sometimes I am a teenager but most of the time I am a grown up. I have my silly moments where I want to act silly and fun and wear funky shoes. My friend reminds me that I will never "win" against a teen, they've got it covered just fine.
Sometimes I cry but most of the time I don't. I have my days where everything hits me in a sad cryey way but most of the time I can handle it without tears.
Sometimes I am a fighter but most of the time I'm a wimp. Really. I just talk big : ) Unless you mess with my husband or kids, then I'll kick your a**.
Sometimes I am a race car driver but mostly I'm a good driver. Sometimes I see those little tiny cars that just need to feel the power of my 15 passenger van engine.
Sometimes I'm cool but most of the time I'm a nerd. No, no, don't everyone try to dispute me at once. Just kidding. I know I'm a nerd and I don't care. I do treasure those cool moments though...
Sometimes I'm grumpy but most of the time I'm not. I admit, the stress gets to me from time to time but I try to keep it as happy as I can.
Sometimes I'm a loner but most of the time I'm a people person. I treasure my alone time but I really shine in a crowd of people I know. I just love to talk!
Sometimes we are one thing but most of the time we are ourselves. Sometimes we have a crazy moment and it can be good, like wearing a pair of pink and black converse high top tennis shoes. (oh yes people, I do own and wear that pair of shoes) Sometimes we have a crazy moment and we've done something that has hurt another person or ourselves. Do we pretend it didn't happen? Do we act like they were the one in the wrong? No. We apologize and move on. Sometimes we're unforgiving but most of the time we're happy to forgive.
What are your sometimes?
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I'm blessed, I'm blessed, ooohhh I'm blessed
Today is my birthday and I am just so blessed; not just by all the birthday wishes I have already received on FB and in the mail, but just by my life in general. I decided to list a few blessings here, blessings that the Lord has decided to bestow upon me.
My husband - I just love that man
My children - each one so different and wonderful
My parents
My sister and her family
My house
My church
the fact that I can go to college free
the fact that I can go to college
a fridge full of food
drawers full of clothes
my van : )
sunshine
spring approaching
my extended family who loves me for who I am
my friends who do the same
my cat
another birthday to enjoy
the cheesecake I get to eat tonight!
the freedom to read my Bible and worship God as I choose
Govt officials who make decisions so I don't have to
Books to read
Games to play
Movies to watch
comedians
I can go on, but I think ya'll ge the point. What blessings in your life are you the most thankful for? How can we be discontent when we all have lists this long??
My husband - I just love that man
My children - each one so different and wonderful
My parents
My sister and her family
My house
My church
the fact that I can go to college free
the fact that I can go to college
a fridge full of food
drawers full of clothes
my van : )
sunshine
spring approaching
my extended family who loves me for who I am
my friends who do the same
my cat
another birthday to enjoy
the cheesecake I get to eat tonight!
the freedom to read my Bible and worship God as I choose
Govt officials who make decisions so I don't have to
Books to read
Games to play
Movies to watch
comedians
I can go on, but I think ya'll ge the point. What blessings in your life are you the most thankful for? How can we be discontent when we all have lists this long??
Friday, February 11, 2011
Ahhh, childhood color-blindness
My 9 year old is having her birthday party as I write this. She invited a bunch of her friends from school over to watch a movie and eat a ton of junk food. I am just loving watching them interact! There's the quiet one, the bossy one, the scared one (poor dog is locked downstairs), the shy one, the comfy in any situation one, and more. Each one is different and unique and they are all getting along. What I am enjoying most is the ethnic diversity and the fact that nobody cares! There are white girls, bi-racial girls, and black girls. They don't care about their skin tone right now, they only care about pizza and movies. They all get excited when another friend arrives and they bunch up on the couch to make room for the newcomer.
Why can't we stay like children forever, at least in our color blindness? Why do we grow up to care? Sigh.
Why can't we stay like children forever, at least in our color blindness? Why do we grow up to care? Sigh.
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