Fighting over stupid stuff

   How many of you have been in a fight?  Do you remember now what the fight was about?  Are you still friends with that person?  I'm just curious.  I have a few kids and they tend to get into arguments and usually, it is about the dumbest thing.  "He's sitting on my foot" "He's looking over the top bunk at me" "She is staring at me" "She took the last of the noodles and I wanted them and she had 3 helpings and  I only had 1 and now I'm still hungry"  Some of  those are tattlers but if not taken care of, can turn into a shouting match.  Then folded arms and mean looks and a general grumpiness ensues.  I am going to tell you a story of the stupidest fight my husband and I ever got into and the awesome advice I got from my bff that ended up changing my whole marriage.
  My parents are wonderful grandparents and take all of our kids at least once if not twice a year so that my husband and I can have some alone time.  Several years ago, wow, probably close to 10 years now, my parents came into town to watch the girls in their ballet recital.  The plan was to watch the recital and then my folks would leave with the kids.  We had a nice weekend being very busy with the recital, rehearsals, packing, and cleaning.  Eric and I waved the kids out the door and wiped our sweaty brows.  Now was Our time : )  I went to the kitchen to clean up lunch and noticed that someone (not naming names here but I'm pretty sure it was my mom) had overfilled the trash can.  Spouse hates taking out the trash and he absolutely won't do it if it's overfilled.  I nicely asked him to take it out and he refused, blaming me for it being overfilled.  Well, I hadn't overfilled it and I hated doing trash.  I do everything else around here! (lol jk)  So, a standoff began and lasted for 3 days.  Yes people, 3 days.  We didn't speak to each other, touch, look at, nothing.  I called my bff and told her of my horrible husband who was ruining our kidless week.  She was real quiet for a minute then she said, "So, you're going to get to the end of this week, having no fun whatsoever, over trash?"  Welllllll,  I hadn't looked at it that way.  Did I really want to waste the one week a year I got alone with my spouse over stupid trash?  NO!  I took the trash out.  He noticed.  He kissed me and said, "Was that so hard?" and because I didn't stamp on his toes and stomp off, the standoff was broken.  The rest of our kidless week was wonderful.
   Now, whenever we start disagreeing over something, I think to myself, "Do I want to waste precious loving time over this discussion/disagreement?  Is this a "trash" argument?"  If it's not that important, I give in.  For me, this was a pride issue.  I didn't know it at the time but it definitely was pride.  I was not willing to take out the trash because it was not my job,  I hadn't overfilled the can, I had been wronged by others, etc.  Whatever,  I wasn't taking out the trash because I was being a proud woman who was willing to put something ahead of her husband's happiness.   I was proud and selfish. 
  Those 3 days were horrible but boy did I learn a good lesson from them.  I learned to put my husband's happiness ahead of my own.  I learned that there are big things and little things and which is more important to fight about.  I learned that marriage is about being humble and unselfish and loving somebody more than you love yourself.
  Now when my kids argue over something, I take them aside and say, "Is all this drama really worth it?  Is not having a second helping of noodles really worth tears? No?  Then let it go.  Love your sibling enough to let it go and eat something else."  Next time you and your spouse, bff, kid, whomever get into a fight, think to yourself, "Is it worth it? Is this a trash argument?"  Your time, energy, and emotions can almost always be better spent on something more important.  Like blogging!  LOL, I crack myself up.