What you consider to be a big family may not be the same as everybody else. You may think 3 kids is topping out a family while your neighbor may think 8 kids is too many. In America, the average family is around 2 kids. Not 2 kids but around 2 kids. I don't know how you average out 1.8 kids per family but the government knows and they're not telling. Anyway, I'm off topic. I would like to address several questions posed to mothers and fathers of big families when we have to venture out in public. Personally, I don't mind answering people's questions because most people are not being cynical or nasty, they just want to know. Some of you may have already asked some of these questions, it's ok, we forgive you. If you haven't yet asked these, dont.
Are they all yours?
Why would you ask that? Are you going to offer to put one through college or buy us dinner? If you see a person walking through the mall with 6 kids who all look similiar, you can draw your own conclusions. Or you can get creative and ask something new and different like, "These must be your children, they all have your beautiful smile". You know, something like that : )
This question usually leads to...
Wow, your hands are full!
I know this isn't a question but I hear it so often I figured I would add it. I know that our family is large and people are sometimes a little shocked to see us but this does get a little old. How do you respond to that statement? Suggestions are welcome...
Do they all have the same father?
The first time I was confronted with this question I only had 3 kids and I was so shocked that I couldn't answer her properly. Really? You just asked that? Does it make a difference? Please people, do NOT ask that question, it is none of your business.
Don't you know what causes that?
Obviously we know what causes "that", that's why we have 6 kids : )
How do you afford all those kids?
Now, this is a genuine question and my response usually throws people off. Kids themselves are not actually expensive, it is how a parent chooses to parent said kid that is expensive. Unless your husband has a big money making job then here is how you afford a big family.
1. Hand me down clothes
2. Older cheaper vehicle that is paid off
3. Shop at Aldis or similiar cheaper grocery store
4. Live in a cheaper neighborhood
5. Stay at home so you don't have to pay for daycare
I can keep going but those are some of the big ones. I'm sure each of you has a money saving tip, please add it in to the comments.
I know there are more questions and I would love for you to comment and add some in. I think families are beautiful whether you have 1 child or 20.
I know I added a statement up there but I would like to add a couple more just for kicks and giggles. Not all of them are bad, some make me feel so special and loved.
They look nothing like you!
Your house must be so busy.
I bet you can't wait til they're all off to school.
You look great for having 6 kids! (that's my favorite)
You will never have to live in a nursing home!
Think of all the grandkids!
Oh LaShelle these are so true. Add in multiples and you get even MORE intrusive questions.
ReplyDeleteSome of my favorites responses to these questions:
Are they all yours?
Point at the children, That one is, that one is, that one just started following us, that one we found on the street corner. :)
Your hands are full!
I know and I love it. So is my house.
Do they have the same father?
That one annoys me. I usually just look them and ask "Did you REALLY just ask that?"
Don't you know what causes that?
Obviously, and we must enjoy it.
How do you afford all of these kids?
Same answers as you. I would also add learn to make things from scratch. It really is cheaper and healthier for the family.
LaShelle,
ReplyDeleteThis post is funny! I tell them that they are all from the same father before they ask me, that way I do not get mad. Plus I know I lot of people that have many children, but are blended families or adopted. Whatever....I can understand the question. When they tell me my hands are full, I respond, "So is my heart!"
Donna